Saturday, 30 April 2011

Royal Wedding Blowjob Photo and More on Pippa's Posterior

Royal Wedding fever shows no signs of abating, especially now that the first Photoshop jobs are starting to emerge. You have to admit that the royal blowjob photo above is well worth a chuckle.

However, nothing compares to the reality of Pippa Middleton's posterior and as more photos of her lusciously spankable buttocks appear it seems as if she has made every man's palm itch and cock harden. As for Prince Harry - well, if he did not go balls deep into her last night then there is something definitely wrong with today's cavalry officers.

There is a new Facebook page devoted to Pippa's posterior which has managed to attract over 28,000 followers in the  first 24 hours of its existence. The press has got in on the act as well, as seemingly the whole world says in unison:

Friday, 29 April 2011

Royal Wedding Honours go to Pippa Middleton!

Great Royal Wedding day with the honours going to Pippa Middleton for her delicious posterior, wonderfully encased in a sheath dress that hugged her figure to perfection. Prince Harry seemed to think so as well if his crotch grabbing moment is to be believed. Let's face it, what man wouldn't want to get his tackle in order if he had Pippa's posterior within smacking range? 

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Pippa Middleton

Today is the big day for royal wedding fans and it provides a perfect excuse to run one of the few upskirt shots of Pippa Middleton that are kicking around the web. Unlike Kate Middleton who seems to enjoy showing off her panties at every opportunity, little Pippa has so far managed to save her snatch from the public gaze.

That said, she is a perfect minx with a saucy cast to her elfin face that is just begging someone to tun her over and administer the spanking that everyone knows that she deserves.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Anyone for a public spanking?

There's a lot to be said for public correction, I suppose it's all to do with the humiliation factor being at its highest.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Sophie Raworth

The latest Order of the Burning Buttocks is awarded to Sophie Raworth, for having legs that go right up to her chin. Such a saucy young madam deserves to be upended as a matter of course as it is good for her soul as well as providing pleasure to her disciplinarian. As Aristotle noted in this comment box, she has been on TV interminably recently mouthing off about the royal wedding, and the thought of her nursing a well smacked bottom the next time she appears is a thought to savour.

The Wives of Spanking Husbands' Club

Raven Red turned up this quite fascinating account from the Los Angeles Times of the 26 January 1938 about the wonderfully named Wives of Spanking Husbands' Club, and its lovely offshoot, the Daughters of Spanking Parents. Raven thought that someone had created a fake newspaper and she asked me to have a look at her scan, which I did.

If you enlarge the main page on the left you immediately see the Library of Congress sticker which covers part of the newspaper title. It is possible that someone went to the trouble to fake such a small detail, but my guess is that this is a genuine scan of the Los Angeles Times for that date. Looking at the story, my eye was drawn to the fact that it was not written by the Times, but is an agency report - in this case the Associated Press, hence the AP initials after the headline and date. All the Times did was scan the agencies for a short story to fill some space on their page. The paper had form in the 1930s for its spanking stories as just a few months later it ran an account of how a father spanked his 34 year old daughter, so that is yet more evidence that the page has not been faked.

Does that mean that the story is true? No, of course not, and my guess is that someone was hoaxing the Press Association. The report tells of a woman named Rita Rae with an address noted as "general delivery." That means that you wrote to her care of the main post office in her town and she would pick up her mail at the office. Rita claimed to be the president of the Wives of Spanking Husbands' Club, but if that organisation really existed would she not have used a real address for it? We are talking about a group that claimed to have fifty-nine chapters across the country, when all is said and done.

Secondly, the AP account relies totally on that letter which seems to have arrived at their office one fine morning. As the story says, everything hinges on Rita's "own figures" as to the club's membership and the like. Clearly this is a quick story that was cobbled together from a letter which the AP office in South Dakota found interesting that day. They put it into a story which they sent out over the wires to the agency's subscribers and the Los Angeles Times ran with the tale - but that doesn't mean that  any of it is true.

Which is a pity because it is a lovely tale and the notion of  "Spare the hairbrush and spoil the wife" is one that most of my readers will agree with.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Kate Middleton

I award the Order of the Burning Buttocks to Kate Middleton, for her seeming inability to decant herself properly from a car without giving us an upskirt shot of moss and early morning dew. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against dewy moss, but you would have thought that given her expensive education someone would have taken the trouble to teach the girl how to sit properly without providing a peep show to nasty little pervs like, well, us.

That said, it is a good shot, isn't it? I even took the trouble to enlarge the target area for you so that you can see the pussy lips without having to squint. Just think: Prince Billy will be spreading those luscious lips on Friday. Let's hope that he gives her two: one for him and another for all of us at this blog.

Merry banter aside, Waitie Katie is a very naughty girl indeed for flaunting herself like that and we know what happens to naughty girls don't we?

Monday, 25 April 2011

Want to meet Raven Red in London?

The delightful Raven Red will arrive in the UK at the end of July and will be here until mid-September. She has asked me to tell you that she is interested in a few one2one sessions with suitable gentlemen who may feel that her bottom is in need of attention...

She is thinking of doing about three paid sessions during her time over here, the first one being in London on the 28th, 29th, or 30th of July. You will need to book a venue - a hotel or the like - and her fee is £200 for the hour. The second session has already been booked, but a third is available in Northern England during the final week of August.

Why is she doing this? Partly because she finds the idea exciting, but let's be honest the rand is not the hardest currency these days and her air fare is calculated in pounds sterling. On the subject of money, what can you expect for yours?

Raven is 45, and weighs in at about 14st or a 100 kilos if you prefer new money. She stands just over five feet tall and has green eyes and dark red hair - hence her name on the web. She worked in the financial services sector for years and is now a very senior figure, operating one step below boardroom level, for a South African based conglomerate with international interests. Trust me when I say that if you want to take her to lunch after your session is over then you will be delighted by her quite charming and sophisticated manner.

She won't dress as a schoolgirl because she finds the idea risible and couldn't keep a straight face. On the other hand, putting a senior executive across your knee and paddling her bare bottom until it is the colour of her hair should please you - and you get all the bragging rights in the world. She has been caned but is dubious about receiving it from someone that she doesn't know so you might want to think about the hand or tawse for this session.

What's the next step? Well if you are interested then write to me as I have agreed to filter out the oddballs and chancers looking for freebies. I can provide you with answers to most of your questions, and then if you are still interested, and always assuming that she has not been booked, then your mail will be passed along to Raven.

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Carole Middleton

The latest Order of the Burning Buttocks goes to Carole Middleton, mother of Kate Middleton, Prince William's bride to be. Described as "pushy, rather twee and incredibly middle class" by a Buckingham Palace insider, this charmer manages to embarrass and irritate in equal measure - consider the way that she dumped the couturier who had spent four months on her wedding clothes just weeks before the big day if you want an example of Old Mother Middleton's style, or lack of it.

The problem with this frankly rather nasty female is that she comes from a long line of equally nasty social climbing creatures. Her maternal grandmother was known as the duchess owing to her airs and graces in the Durham pit village where she lived at the end of the Second World War, and Carole's mother, Dorothy, loathed it if anyone ever called her Dot.

So what do we have? A woman who is laughed at by both the working class who recognise a jumped up member of their own and an upper class that can spot a social climber a mile away.

Pomlazka: whipping females in the Czech Republic

Today is Easter Monday and don't you just wish that you lived in the Czech Republic where females of all ages are routinely whipped today?

The men and boys of an area make rods called pomlazkas out of willow branches which they cut from trees themselves and then braid into a disciplinary implement which looks a little like a birch rod, but one that has a nice ribbon at the business end.

The fellows then go from house to house hitting the girls and women across the backsides with their whips. They are then given a shot of vodka and off they go to the next house and the whole thing turns into an exercise to see who can keep walking without falling over. One woman's happy account of the day's events can be found here, which is where I got the video, but two other women who have less than happy memories of the day have left their stories here and here.

There are various explanations as to the origins of this tradition, the most plausible being that the willow is a symbol of fertility, but I reckon that this is a symbolic way to remind women and girls of their place in the great cosmic scheme of things. 

Now that is something that all readers of this blog should support!

Sunday, 24 April 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

With less than a week to go before the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, this blog is now in full royal wedding mode, with the lights burning bright at Urzdown Hall as a team of bright-eyed young miniskirts scour the web for anything sleazy that can be remotely linked to Prince Billy and Waitie Katie's big day.

In honour of this momentous event we award the Order of the Burning Buttocks to wedding guest Tara Palmer-Tomkinson who did this twirl two years ago to reveal a very smackable rear end; one that was covered but not protected by a pair of delightfully frothy panties.

Tara is 39 now but she can still give a fellow a nice blue-veiner when she chooses, and looking at this photo our guess is that she chose to do just that two short years ago.

Spank and Wrestle

American professional wrestling has become a major supplier of spanking clips. Obviously none of these spankings are intended to be taken seriously, they are a bit like the wrestling in that respect, but they are amusing to watch. Here's the lovely Trish Stratus in tight jeans getting a couple where the jeans are the tightest.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

Hidden Camera Spankings: The First Girl

People, I cannot in all honestly decide if these clips are genuine or not.  My gut instinct is that they are fake, but enough people that I know and trust tell me that they were made in about 1981 for his own pleasure by the man doing the spanking. He then went on to make spanking videos and at some point after a shoot had been wrapped up he mentioned, probably in the pub, that he had these videos of two girls that he had disciplined at work. The rest is history as they say.

It's a lovely story that I want to be true, but even if the videos are fakes then the spankings are still worth watching, especially this one. The girl wriggles deliciously as her panties are taken down and struggles helplessly to avoid the hard male palm as is cracks across her defenceless buttocks to leave them a fiery red.

Introducing The Spirit

Are you having a nice Easter Saturday on this sultry day in late April? I am feeling to lazy to do a proper post so I thought that this video report from Playboy TV might amuse you. The Spirit is the nickname of an American spanking artist whose work can be found all over the web, and this report by Kira Reed gives you an up close and personal insight into the man and his work.

Friday, 22 April 2011

Hidden Camera Spankings

I must be honest and say that I cannot guarantee that these two clips are genuine, but there is a strong suspicion that they are. The guy was well known in the early days of spanking videos as he appeared in quite a few of the those classic epics. The story is told that he was an office manager in real life who used to spank female members of staff and he rigged up a camera so that his activities could be recorded for posterity. At some point he changed companies and released his video soon afterwards. 

One bit of evidence points to this being genuine and that is that the girl's face is never clearly seen. If this had been a fake then surely the pornographer directing the thing would have made sure that her face was seen because the viewers love watching a girl's face when she is in distress. That doesn't happen here and one possible reason is that this was an authentic bit of office discipline that was captured on a secretly installed video camera thirty years ago and later released to the general public.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

TV Spankings: Laços de Família

Laços de Família is yet another one of those Brazilian soap operas that featured rather a nice spanking, and which luckily was dubbed into Spanish for the international audience, hence I can tell you what is going on.

Well, sort of, because understanding the dialogue doesn't explain who the participants are. The man is obviously not the girl's father as she calls him Pedro. He is not her husband either since she disapproves of his wife, and it is her choice of words about the woman which leads directly to her spanking.

Pedro tells the girl that he plans to put her on an aeroplane home, but she tells him that she lives with her sister and there is nothing he can do to get her out of that house. She then goes on to taunt him about the state of his marriage and how unhappy he is and that is a provocation to far for Pedro who promptly upends the girl and smacks her pantied bottom as shown.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

My own personal aubade

April come she will... Fifteen years ago I fucked three women on one hot April day in Mexico. There was the wife in the morning and then her cousin, who happened to double up as my mistress, in the afternoon. She owned a commercial college and in the early evening a student named Xochitl found that fucking had been added to the curriculum of her secretarial course. Not that she needed much instruction as she went like a steam engine, but I do remember teasing her that the bill for my services would be added to her monthly fees. I also remember that she pestered me to take her somewhere or other and I was too fagged out to want to bother, but she wouldn't shut up so I had to give her a spanking. It is strange that I have always remembered my three fuck day but the fact that one of the women ended up across my knee had quite slipped my mind.

I can't do it these days. Fuck like that I mean. I discovered that sad fact in Cuba back in 2005 when I spent the afternoon with a rather nice sound recordist who worked for Cuban TV and then an achingly lovely museum attendant fluttered her eyelashes at me and just as I went over to her I realised that it would be a waste of time. My only wad of the day had been shot... I was getting old... I tried to console myself with the thought that I had enjoyed the sound girl very well indeed, but that is not the point, it is not the point at all.

A few months ago I told these stories to my eldest son and he looked at me in amazement. Then he told me quietly that he could not imagine being my age and having a cock that doesn't work to order.

He will have to get used to that fact of life, just as I will have to accept that Philip Larkin was right all along, the bastard:

I work all day, and get half drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain edges will grow light.
Till then I see what's really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
– The good not used, the love not given, time
Torn off unused – nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never:
But at the total emptiness forever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true. 

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says no rational being
Can fear a thing it cannot feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear – no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round. 

And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no-one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood. 

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can't escape
Yet can't accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house. 


Cinema Spankings: el Charro y la Dama

Rosita Quintana collected two spankings from Pedro Armendáriz in the 1949 Mexican epic el Charro y la Dama.

The first one comes about when the couple arrive at a deserted stables looking for a place to rest for the night. Rosita goes to look around and it all looks horrible to her, but Pedro tells her not to worry as they can bunk up together in the stable. He then gives her his saddle and tells her to take great care of it as it is his very best...  After the six smack spanking Rosita rubs her rear end and tells Pedro that he must be more of a gentleman with the ladies, and he retorts that he is indeed a gentleman with the ladies...

The second spanking comes right at the end of the film. Rosita touches her scarf which Pedro has around his neck and asks him if he is wearing it so that people will know that he is a ladies' man? Pedro replies that there was never any doubt of that, and Rosita retorts that actually there was until she took a hand. As the film ends Pedro upends her to administer yet another correction, this time for her smart mouth rather than her foolish deeds.

Tuesday, 19 April 2011

TV Spankings: Gata Salvaje

Just when you thought that it was safe to return I hit you with yet another Latin-American soap opera. This one is called Gata Salvaje or the Wild She-Cat, and if you think that the production values are even worse than is usual in these epics then you are right as this load of old tosh was made in Venezuela.

The couple in this scene have a daughter and the man is shouting that the woman can marry some other fellow if she wishes, but cannot take their child with her to live with him. As part of the argument the man tells her that she is a stupid cat - obviously a reference to the title of the series - and that sets her off. He then grabs the woman and lays her across his knee for the spanking...

Now, he has one arm in a sling, but still manages to hold the girl down for the correction, and have you noticed how his hand lingers on her bottom after each smack? Like I said, this is Venezuela and their television makes Mexico's output look credible and sophisticated.

The best bit comes near the end when his mother asks him why he hit the girl and he replies that he didn't hit her, he gave her a good spanking - and he waves his hand from side to side with the palm up to indicate just that. Then he pats his mother on the rump and tells her that it was only a little spanking...


The Second Acuarela del Amor (Caras e Bocas) Spanking

Here is the second spanking scene from the 2009 Brazilian soap opera Acuarela del Amor, dubbed into Spanish so I can understand it.

Judith is the villainess of the series and she has managed to take control of her mother's bank accounts and credit cards. The mother tells her that she has been brought up very badly and Cássio, who lives in the same house as the mother, adds that she needed a spanking as a child, but since she didn't get one then he will give her one right now!

Alas he does not spank her either hard enough or long enough because Judith is fuming when he lets her up and she threatens him with a law suit. The creep in the white shirt offers to help her file the action and the wimp in the suit offers to be a witness. At that Judith really loses it, mocking him for just standing there whilst she was being hit, and Cássio then adds "on your bottom, as you deserved, my little girl," at which point Judith looks set to commit murder and her secretary has to step between her and Cássio. The clip ends with the mother telling her daughter that she should have been spanked years before.

All in all rather a nice spanking and one that is made even more interesting by the fact that it is a mature women who is receiving correction from a very young man.

Monday, 18 April 2011

The First Acuarela del Amor (Caras e Bocas) Spanking

The original title of this 2009 Brazilian soap opera was Caras e Bocas (Faces and Mouths), and the dubbed version for the Spanish audience was Acuarela del Amor (Watercolours of Love). God knows what it will be called if the 232 episodes that made up the series ever get shown on British television. That said, it was released outside Brazil in a version with only 145 episodes, so it is possible that we could be spared 87 of them.

The spanking comes about because to inherit a large sum of money the girl's mother must be married. It strikes the girl as a jolly good thing indeed if her mother marries her father and she starts a complicated train of events off that have that end in mind. Needless to say this being Latin-America it all falls apart with everyone screaming at everyone else.

My clip starts with the girl telling her father that all that matters is that he and the mother will be together, and she then goes on to say that after all that doesn't she deserve her reward? Daddy agrees and tells her that she certainly deserves something - a sound spanking!

Following the chastisement the girl screams that her father is a conformist loser who will die poor. As she scampers off presumably to nurse her sore bottom the father tells the mother that he knows all about the plan to marry him so that she can get her inheritance. The woman asks to be allowed to explain and on that moment of high drama the episode ends. Is this exciting or what?

OK, this is the first spanking from the soap opera which featured at least one other. That second spanking scene will be presented here later on today!

Saturday, 16 April 2011

The Secret Watcher

Imagine how nice it must be to witness a naughty girl's spanking. Even nicer if she didn't know that you were there, feasting your eyes on her humiliation. Maybe the view is not perfect, but the delightful thing is that you can watch her as she struggles to avoid her grandfather's hard hand as it cracks down across her helpless bottom. What a delightful way to spend an evening.

TV Spankings: The Big Valley

One of the problems with spanking clips is that they tend to be very badly edited, with too much action before the spanking and then nothing after it. The spanking scene from The Big Valley is a case in point as most versions show Linda Evans riding up and down screaming at Claude Akins, but none of them have the scene which follows on from the spanking where Linda storms home and grabs a rifle. Her brothers are bewildered at first, and she doesn't want to tell them that she has been given a spanking, but slowly the realisation dawns on the faces of the two brothers just what has happened.

All in all a delightful clip, now presented in its full glory.

Friday, 15 April 2011

Vintage OTK

Here's another one of those weird photos that turn up on the web from time to time. From the hairstyles and the clothing I would say it was taken in the 1930s. Obviously a flash was used hence the blurred hand and face - shutter speeds were slow when a flash light was used in those days.

Does anybody know anything about this rather amusing photo?

Cinema Spankings: No Basta Ser Charro

I don't normally run clips of almost three minutes, but this one is rather special not so much for the spanking but for the build-up and the scene which follows the girl's correction. The bad news is that it is all in Spanish...

Jorge Negrete tells Lilia Michel that if he were only her father, brother or boyfriend he would smack her. Alas he can't quite get the word "bottom" out so the girl taunts him to imagine that he was her boyfriend and then explain where he would hit her. He does better than that and gives her a practical demonstration!

Later he explains that a spanking is better for a woman that hours of argument and hostility in the house. He goes on to explain that when he marries it will be forever and his wife can expect, and here he uses the Latin gesture of waving the hand from side to side to indicate a spanking. Becoming angry he tells her that she is an ill-mannered "esquincla" (girl, but of the street) and she deserves a lot more smacks.

Taking over the situation, Lilia turns her back on Jorge and invites him to administer the extra dosage. Jorge tells her that he is not her father, brother or boyfriend, and at that moment she throws herself into his arms.

They don't make 'em like that any more!

Thursday, 14 April 2011

Cinema Spankings: Tres Balas Perdidas

A rather nice mass spanking of Rosita Quintana, Maria Victoria and Evangelina Elizondo by Javier Solis, Alfredo Sadel and Julio Aldama in the 1961 Mexican film Tres Balas Perdidas. The girls taunt the men in song and the fellows respond in kind. My clip starts with the girls' reply which involves telling the men that they would rather remain spinsters than marry the three fellows. Quite rightly the chaps decide that this insolence cannot go unpunished so the three girls are upended to have their backsides tanned.

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Women in senior positions

I am all in favour of appointing more women to senior positions - the more the merrier in fact. Imagine how great it must be for a young fellow to take orders from a woman all day and then have her on her knees giving him a blowjob in the evening...

A Spanking Good Life

I have just finished my book... No, I have not just finished reading one, I am saying that I have now completed writing one. It is quite a feeling to pretty much have a whole manuscript stored on the hard drive of this computer; my thoughts and words, about 55,000 of them, all original to me. I feel a similar sensation to the one I had when my sons were born - joy and pride all mixed in together.

What is the book about? Well, you know what it is about, it is about la cosa nostra. On one level is is a work of erotica that aims to titillate and please its readers, but on another it is my memoirs, so the stories contained within A Spanking Good Life are not works of fiction, they are real events that happened to me and to the women that I have been laying over my knee for 40 years with the first spanking being administered in 1971.

Forty years of spanking is a lot, but it is also forty years of fucking as well since there is no finer fuck than a freshly spanked female. The accounts start in the Manchester of the 1970s and very early 80s, before moving to Oxford before finally ending up in Mexico and Cuba for the period 1990 to 2010. I hope that you enjoy reading these erotic memoirs when they are published.

If they are published... I do not actually have a publisher and I don't have any contacts in the legitimate publishing trade. I have decided against going down the self publishing route since if the manuscript is any good then someone will take it up, I suppose.

Can anybody give me any advice as to publishing houses who may be interested?

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

On hearing the old. old song...

If I had a pound for every time I have heard this old favourite I would be a rich man by now. It's the whining lament, sung in plaintive tones, of the wannabe who can't understand why he is unable to find a girl to spank. I think that Gillete was singing about such tossers in this rather amusing little number featured above...

As I always tell these clowns, finding a girl to spank is similar to putting a cart before a horse. Does it not make more sense to find a girl and then spank her? Thank you - I thought so! All you have to do is find yourself a girl, wait until she misbehaves, warn her that the next time she annoys you she will pay a trip to lap land. Of course annoy you is what she will do and then you pull her over your knee and live up to your promise. On the other hand she may decide that a roasted rump courtesy of your fine hand is not what she wants in which case she can take her hook. Gentlemen, this is not rocket science, is it?

Do I sound out of sorts? That's because I am, and the reason for my lack of good humour is that this level of idiocy now seems to be afflicting the female of the species as well as the male. I dunno, maybe it's something in the water.

The lovely Scarlett put up such a posting only yesterday, in which she asked how she could find a boyfriend who would spank her when needed? Let me think... I know! She can go out with a man and start letting her inner little minx out. The chances are she will find herself across his knee in pretty short order, just as this old girlfriend of mine did when she pulled such stunts on her previous boyfriend. As you can see from that story, it isn't just me who upends 'em when they deserve it.

Leading on from that I am reminded of the time when Raven actually told me that someone or other had gone to the trouble of warning her about dear old me. The circumstances have passed from my memory, but I think it had to do with the supposed lack of consent surrounding my spankings. Actually of course if you have read this post up to now then you will see that my right to spank every woman that I haver laid across my knee has been conceded implicitly by her. I warn and always give time for the girl to ponder her situation. She can leave me if she wishes, but if she remains then sooner or later she will be upended.

Or the warning may have been about my archive site, but that has nothing to do with my life as a spanking man and everything to do with the fact that few people are ever stupid enough to want to fuck with me. Well, few men that is, and no women at all. Otherwise I fucking crucify them. The site means that I don't have to anymore as it does serve as such an awful warning...

Enough of this merry banter: if you want a spanking relationship get yourself into a relationship first and then see if it can be turned to your satisfaction. Girls, don't look amongst the ranks of the North London wankerati  (do you like that word? I just made it up!) Find yourselves a good, socially conservative northerner with a thick leather belt and a willingness to use it when you don't toe the line.

North West Mounted Police spanking Update

Back in April last year when the blog was only a few days old I ran the spanking clip from North West Mounted Police. Now I have discovered that Cecille B. de Mille who directed the epic was a man who believed in giving his actors a hands-on vision of what he wanted them to do. Here he demonstrates to all and sundry just how he wants to see  Paulette Goddard spanked:

Monday, 11 April 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: the slappers

The Order of the Burning Buttocks is today awarded to the slappers of this world for being, well, slapperish in their behaviour. Take these two as a case in point. Someone really should tell them that less is more and often what you can't see is more enticing to a man than something blatantly displayed.

TV Spankings: Balaz

This is Balaz, a Hungarian TV show in which female participants get their bottoms smacked, either by members of their own families or from a team of three blokes who walk in at the appropriate moment to take the girl over the knee. Normally I edit clips down to remove the talk, but since I haven't got a clue what is being said I have left these three intact, contenting myself with joining them together to make one clip and sticking a title on the beginning. In the unlikely event that anyone around here speaks Hungarian, would they provide a translation?

Saturday, 9 April 2011

Two For The Cane

Here is another little delight from the Golden Age of video spanking. Two For The Cane stars the two girls that eagle-eyed observers will remember from What Bottoms Are For. In this short clip their bare bottoms are thrashed most severely, with plenty of close-up shots of their faces as the cruel crop hits home across their defenceless buttocks.

A footballing moment

The Law of Unintended Consequences

Raven Red told me a story last year which for some reason has been preying on my mind for the last couple of days. I'll tell it to you and hope that someone can come up with the reason why the events she outlined keep on playing over and over again in my mind.

A relative of Raven's divorced her husband and was given custody of their daughter by the court. The woman then remarried and the girl who was about 16 at the time began to do the usual thing that 16 year old girls do these days, namely stay out all night getting fucked left, right and centre. Eventually in exasperation the mother told her husband to take the girl in hand and he did, with knickers down for a spanking that lasted an eternity. Then, the following day, when the girl started screaming that she was leaving he threatened her with a paddle and when she said she was going to the police he reminded her that he was a cop and that there is one law for him and another for her. It was at that point that rationality kicked in and the girl enlisted her father's help and within a day or so she had gone to live with him, which is what should have happened in the first place.

The problem here was a lack of legitimacy. The man was not the girl's father and had no moral right over her at all. Neither was he her husband or lover in which case by continuing her relationship with him she would be consenting to being under his hand when needed. This looks to me like some thuggish cop getting his jollies off with a nubile girl and nothing more. Luckily she managed to get out from under him and has not spoken to him since leaving the mother's house. Now, about five years later, mother and daughter speak to one another I believe, but I doubt if relations are really what they should be. Hence the Law of Unintended Consequences, with a mother who tried to bring her daughter to heel and ended up almost losing her instead.

Now then, why is this story in my mind so much these past few days? I hadn't thought about it at all since Raven first related it to me almost a year ago.

Any ideas?

Friday, 8 April 2011

Naughty Ruler Time

An on-line sex toys retailer has been in touch with your favourite loving uncle, seeking to divert him from the one true path. They were  told that Uncle Nick is not for sale - but  can be rented for the half hour or so if the price and product are both right.

Looking through their selection of bondage toys I was taken with the naughty ruler pictured on the left. I imagine that it would be great if you were into roleplay, obviously the scenario being that of the strict schoolmaster, walking up and down the rows of desks and bringing the ruler down on the knuckles of the truly indolent. Given that this is roleplay it might not just be the knuckles that come in for the treatment either.

Guest Posting: Julia's first marital spanking

This is a guest posting by Julia Dillingham, a Facebook friend who hails from Colorado in the USA. She currently lives in North Carolina.

 The first time I was spanked as an adult was when I was 29 and I was sitting in my Colorado bedroom with Cari my sister-in-law, talking and getting bored. My late husband John who was the same age as me and her husband Walter were at work and his parents had gone out for the evening. I had had enough of being bored and got the wonderful idea to jump in my little Mazda Sundowner truck and head up into the mountains. Cari whined that it was getting dark, Walter wouldn't like it, but I laughed it off and off we went. She told me the guys would not like it and my reply was that we would be back well before they get home. 

Yeah right! we went to a little off the road area where I use to go before I was married. Just a spot by Clear Creek Canyon in Colorado. We sat and watched the sun go down and just talked. I forgot my watch so I had no clue as to the time. when we started to tire out we got back into the truck and headed home.We stopped in Golden Colorado and got something to eat. I did  call home and leave a message on the answering machine. Yes I knew they wouldn't probably get it and I could always erase it when we got home and therefore no one would know we had even left. If they did happen to get home before us they would have no reason on earth to worry about us. See? I took care of everything!!! Or so I thought!!!! We went to Pizza Hut and lost track of time once again. We finally decided it was time to go home. 

As I turned into the driveway Cari gasped and began to cry. I looked at her as if she had lost her mind. UNTIL I saw that not only were our In-Laws home but both the guys cars were there as well. I still was not sure why Cari was so upset. As I pulled in the driveway the door flew open and out stamped two very angry looking men...Our Husbands!. I still did not know what the big deal was.Walter got to the truck first , opened up the door and said the 4 words that to this day will turn my legs to jelly and make my bottom start to tingle!!!! BEDROOM!!! NOW!! YOUNG!!! LADY!!! As I watched her RUN for the house All I could think of was... W.T.F.. Suddenly my door was yanked open and I was swept out of the truck and tossed over John's shoulder and carried into the house and into my bedroom. I was then set on my feet and glared at.

As I yelled John just crossed his arms and continued to glare at me. I told him I did not know what the big deal was as Cari and I were together and after all I did call and leave a message. It was about this time I heard Cari's cries and what sounded like slaps coming from their room. I stopped in my tracks and just looked at John and then the door and back at him. Again I was confused. W.T.F. was happening to her? I started to go to the door to help Cari only to hear that low growl he had when he was mad and was told to STOP RIGHT THERE YOUNG LADY!!! I spun around and asked him what was wrong with Cari... He just smiled and said she was getting spanked just like I was about to. I just laughed at the thought...

I guess my laughing at the thought was just about the last straw as far as he was concerned.. I was grabbed and my top was yanked off and my bra followed. I am not sure where my shoes went but next thing I knew my shorts were down and he was pulling me over his knees. Where the brush came from is a mystery to this day. After several swats my panties were pulled down and off. I fought him but he was bigger than me. He shifted and put me back over his left leg, trapped my legs down with his right leg and the spanking was back on. It seemed to go on forever. I have never felt such pain or such rage boiling up in me. After about 10 minutes of this he let me up. Lord I was Mad. I stood up spun around and punched him in the face. That was a dumb assed move on my part. Never hit back when being corrected. I again found myself over his knee and trapped. This time he took his belt to my poor bottom. If I thought the first spanking was bad .... I needed to think again. After another 10 to 15 minutes of intense spanking John asked me if I wanted to punch him again. I was smart and said NO SIR!!! He then let me up and told me to stand in the corner till he came back.

I stood there well really I danced in the corner and cried. My bottom hurt too much to rub. 30 minutes of dancing in the corner came to an end. John came back in took me into his arms and just held me while I cried. He then told me he was going to keep me safe if he had to spank me every day till I learned to stop putting myself in danger and Cari as well. I nodded but had other thoughts on how he could comfort me after that spanking. I am sure you know all to well what happened next!!!

So Nick ..... that was my introduction into my Domestic Discipline Lifestyle. It took about 2 months for me to learn to be safe and think before doing things. I did learn tho .....and, I learned not to hit back and not to run out of the house to try and escape being spanked. He could also out run me and when he would catch up to me I would again get to ride home over his shoulder and he would spank me all the way home. Yes in front of God and the whole neighbourhood!!!!!! Now I ask ya is that fair? At least he kept my pants on till we got to our bedroom!

Thursday, 7 April 2011

Cinema Spankings: Love Crimes

When Love Crimes was released in the United Kingdom the spanking scene had been shorn from it and there was a clumsy jump cut that ran from when Patrick Bergin throws Sean Young towards the bed to the following scene where she is standing up in the bath, a nicely smacked bottom on display. Sadly I do not have the bathroom scene, but you have to admit that the spanking is well worth watching.

Time Shift documentary on CP

Part One     Part Two     Part Three

Part Four     Part Five     Part Six

Links to an interesting one hour documentary from the BBC on the history of corporal punishment. The basic thesis is that once Christian theology posited a wrathful God who punished the wicked, thus it was right to punish the evildoer on earth. That changed as the theology softened into one that saw God as the all-caring father, and thus the argument in favour of stern punishments began to fall away. Interestingly enough, this weakening of the state's power to punish corresponds to the growth of the state in the nineteenth century. You cannot seek to reform the recalcitrant unless you have a powerful machinery in place that employs thousands of people to do just that. An interesting programme which ends up looking at the abolition of the cane ins schools in the 1980s.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

The Ups of Blogging

As we are still on our first anniversary week I want to complement yesterday's posting about the downside to blogging with a look at the upside to the activity.

When I started this site just a year ago it was with the sole intention of using it as a hook to sell video clips with. It changed partly through the people that it introduced me to, but also because the blog is a great forum for trying out new ideas. For instance I am writing a book; I didn't set off to write one, but the postings that are archived under the Spanking Memories label were just asking to be rewritten to become chapters in a manuscript. I have set myself a deadline of the end of this month to have the work completed and then I suppose I will have to start getting used to rejection slips that will come my way, but the point is that if this blog had not existed the thought of setting down my spanking memories to paper would never have entered my head.

Had I not started the blog I would never have met Raven who quickly became not only a lover in real life but  also my confident and support. Obviously I owe an awful lot to her as well as to the countless other people who have crossed my path to the good over the past twelve months.

So what does the future hold? God knows - the blog today is a far different creature than the site that I set up a year ago so I am damned if I can even think about where it will be a year from now. That said, I hope that you are still around to enjoy it, and take at least part of your pleasure from my work here.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

What to do with this girl?


She had obviously been insolent and failed to answer her man's bidding so a spanking had been administered. That had not had the desired effect, as madam had continued with her insolence and had adopted a tone of surly defiance when he had allowed her to rise after the spanking was over. Faced with such insolence there was no other recourse than to administer six with the heavy cane across buttocks that were already weeping from the force of the hard male palm. Just as a mare must feel the bit so a woman must feel the rod, thus both are brought back to their natural state of controlled obedience.

So what is to happen now to her? She is to be fucked, that is what is to happen and that is so obvious that the thought that anything else could even be considered is risible. She is a freshly disciplined female and her pussy lips are open in anticipation of the cock that will soon drive past them into the wondrous depths that are hidden below.

Let her be fucked for the same reason that she was thrashed. That she learns her place and accepts her subordinate position in the great scheme of things.

With thanks to Scarlett Heart for the photo.

Monday, 4 April 2011

New Blog on the block: Scarlett Heart

A very warm welcome to Scarlett Heart, a new spanking site that kicked off yesterday. Scarlett, the nice lady behind it, hails from South Africa and she is most definitely female as Raven Red and I spent most of yesterday evening chatting to her on Skype as she set up her new toy.

Scarlett is a BDSM submissive who switches now and then and chatting to her yesterday I reckon that you can expect a pretty eclectic mix of things to read and see on her blog. Please click on over there and give it your support.

The blog is now a year old!

Your favourite uncle has been sharing his memories for exactly a year as of this moment. That's right, the blog has its first anniversary today. By a rather nice bit of symmetry, or something, the hitcounter smacked its way past the first 100,000 hits just this Friday.

Why did I start this ball rolling in the first place? When I arrived back in this country in December 2009 I could barely walk more than a few yards and I was living on the charity of friends who would put me up for a month at a time before I moved on the next spare room or living room sofa. One of them suggested that 2010 might be a good year to start selling very old spanking videos as edited down clips and that is what I started to do. The blog was then set up the following month as a way of publicising that clip site - it really is as simple as that.

The blog grew as first Bonnie over at My Bottom Smarts, then MarQe and finally Chross all noticed the site and linked to it. My thanks are due to them for making my stat porn very hardcore indeed.

Over the course of this week I will write about the ups and downs that I have experienced over the past twelve months, but for the moment let me just sit back and think: one year old today and over a 100,000 hits. 


Saturday, 2 April 2011

Witness to a Spanking

Witness to a Spanking was produced by the Blushes team in about 1982. Like most early British spanking videos it was hot in some bloke's front room with the curtains closed, but what it lacks in production values it more than makes up for with the enthusiastic whacking that the young girl receives.

Bringing a Hildabeest to Heel, Part Four

I wasn't expecting a struggle and Pippa didn't disappoint me on that score. She leaned against me as we walked into the trees, still with her knickers just below her buttocks. I had my right arm around her waist and her overcoat in my left hand. Believe me, I had plans for that coat...

As we got to the fence where the trouble had started earlier I placed the coat over the top of it and then gently pushed Pippa against the rail so that she would bend over it and be in position for me. I felt her body stiffen as she realised that I planned to have her there and she looked at me pleadingly.

"Do we have to do it here? Can't we go back to my set?"

"Do you want another spanking?"

Pippa shook her head by way of reply and when I pushed her again she bent over the rail, her stomach cushioned by her own overcoat. I lifted up her skirt for the second time that evening and then without ceremony I pulled her panties right down to her ankles and left them there.

Have you ever had a woman that way? There is something incredibly erotic about having her bent over, fully clothed, but with her skirt up and panties down to her ankles. She is ready to receive whatever her man chooses to give her. I licked my right middle finger and began to stroke her pussy with it, all the while undoing my trousers with my other hand. Once they were down and my cock was free I rubbed the head against her moist, gaping pussy and when I was fully hard I mounted her from the rear and began to get a good, steady rhythm going.

She did not shriek or scream, but contenting herself with low heavy moans that seemed to come from deep within her. She reached behind her like a good girl should and took hold of my balls in one of her hands. Cupping them she stroked them with her fingers as I built up the velocity to the killing speed.

Quite a night with quite a lady. I walked her home afterwards like a good fellow should and as I made my way wearily back to my own college I remember taking a detour and wandered back down to the riverbank where the evening's entertainment had just taken place. Standing alone with only the moon to light the scene I lit a cigarette and then on impulse I pulled out my cock and had a nice long piss in the river.

And reflected that life really didn't get much sweeter.

Bringing a Hildabeest to Heel, Part Three

I need to point out at this juncture that I wasn't angry at Pippa, just irritated somewhat by her attitude. It was as if she seemed to think that I should jump to her tune, but since we hadn't had sex at that point I didn't feel any need to be overly enthusiastic about being answerable to her wishes. Not that I would feel all that enthusiastic after sex, either, but I would be more inclined to at least pay lip service to madam and her whims had my knob been nicely shined.

"Now look," she said, wagging her finger under my nose. "You must get me back to my college, safely."

"Sure, when I've finished my smoke, and after I have gone for a walk in the bushes."

"What? What are you talking about? 

"I need to go into the bushes to have a pee," I started to explain with all the patience that I could muster, but it was no good because madam was now waving her arms around and then turned her back on me. With a sigh I  toddled off into the undergrowth to make some American beer with a view to then taking her home.

"You are a thorough nuisance," I told her after my bladder had emptied.
"Am I? Says who" I could see to my great pleasure that Pippa's good humour had returned, so maybe the evening wasn't going to be such a waste after all.

"Says me," I told her. "Bringing me down here under false pretences for instance.

"Oooer," Pippa squealed deliciously. "What pretences were those, then?"

"You are all nice and moist, as I discovered when I touched your panties. Got me all hard and ready it did, and then you scampered away. Do you know what we call girls like that in Manchester?"

"No," she said gigglingly, but of course she did.

"We call 'em prick teasers, and do you know what we do with prick teasers in Manchester?"

Pippa now had a seriously bad fit of the giggles and like most girls in that situation she knew exactly what was coming next, but that didn't stop her shaking her head emphatically.

"We put them across our knees and smack their bare bottoms," I told her.

"If they can't manage it on their own do they get their grannies to help out?" Pippa was almost in hysterics at her sally, but that didn't stop her making a gallop for freedom to escape my grasp. I watched her scamper down the path but brought her to heel with a quick shout:

"Mind the rats - there are some juicy ones on the riverbank!"

Pippa halted dead in her tracks and holding her coat close to her body she began to look all around her on the ground. It really was that easy to reel her in and then all I had to do was walk over to her and grab an arm. Looking back I saw that we were only twenty feet or so away from the bench which would do nicely to sit upon for the matters disciplinary that were to come. I began to walk her back to that place of execution.

" Can't we talk about this?" Pippa enquired, a touch desperately I thought. "I can prove to you that I'm not a tease," she said, brightly. Who ever thought that Oxford women couldn't think fast when their bottoms were at stake?

"There is nothing to talk about," I said, trying and failing to hide my grin.  We had reached the bench an I quickly pushed Pippa's overcoat off her shoulders and grabbed it as it began to fall to the ground.

"Let's put it there shall we? I said, draping the coat over the back of the bench. Then I sat down and without saying another word I flipped Pippa's long corduroy skirt up and left it bunched at her waist.

With my left hand firmly planted in the small of Pippa's back I took a moment out to feast my eyes on the  firm rounded delight that was her bottom. As I write these words the decades fall away and in my mind's eye I can feel her weight on my thighs and the moon is shining down to illuminate her helpless buttocks, clad as they were in a black lace frothy confection that I am sure gave Pippa the illusion of total security until I peeled the garment down to leave her bottom both bare and vulnerable in the chill of that March evening so very long ago.

Pippa gasped as her knickers were lowered, and put her hand instinctively behind her, her legs moving slightly, but other than that she made no move to resist. Clearly this was a lady who had been across a man's knee before, I decided, and who knew that the way to avoid a sound spanking was not to provoke the fellow who was now going to give her a light one. With that thought in mind I raised my right hand above my head and brought it down firmly across the moonlit target below.

"I'm sorry," Pippa whispered. She didn't shout or scream or demand that I let her go. She behaved like an  essentially good girl should when she is undergoing correction and doesn't want it to leave her with a roasted rump. She apologised for her behaviour and replied on me being a decent soul.

Which dear reader I hope I am. Obviously I didn't let her go immediately, instead I spanked her soundly giving her perhaps a dozen smacks all told that left Pippa moving sensuously across my lap. She gasped each time my palm smacked her naughty bottom and about half way through the chastisement she apologised again, but other than that she made no sound. To be honest that girl was not an ounce of trouble when undergoing discipline.

With a final lingering look at the bottom that I had just spanked I let Pippa rise and she sat on my knee, brushing her long hair out of her eyes, with a look of complete embarrassment on her face. Then she looked down at the ground, so I lifted her face up to look into her eyes.

"You can rub your bottom if you want to," I told her with a smile.

"Thank you, " she said quietly, taking the opportunity to do just that.

"And are you going to be a good girl now?"

Pippa nodded. Good, I thought, as I stood her up and prepared to walk her back into the trees.

To be continued.

Friday, 1 April 2011

Bringing a Hildabeest to Heel, Part Two

As far as I was concerned everything was going swimmingly as I inserted my fingers into the elastic of Pippa's knickers with a view to sliding them down over her hips. In fact I may have actually started the peeling down process in train when Pippa froze like a statue, head cocked over to one side, with both hands clamped firmly on my wrists to prevent any further downward movement of her panties.

"Can you hear that?" Her voice was a soft, urgent whisper.

"Hear what?" That's the problem that we fellows have, isn't it? There comes a point in our arousal when the brain switches off and the chopper takes over all necessary processes - and hearing isn't one of them.

"Someone's moving through the under brush. Listen - the leaves are rustling."

"It's just a rat or something," I replied, and to be fair I had seen out of the corner of my eye a small shape moving around in our vicinity.

"A rat! A dirty big rat! Why didn't you tell me it was a squirrel?

"OK, it's a squirrel," I said, ever eager to both please and get her knickers down for action.

"Squirrels don't play out at night - it's a dirty big rat and I'm off!" With that madam pushed me away from her and darted back to the path. I shook my head at the inanity of it all and fished a cigarette out of my pocket and stood there smoking whilst a gathered my thought.

"Are you going to stand there all night? I want to go home."

Pippa's voice was petulant and sulky, the tone of a little girl who was used to getting her own way. Alas she had picked the wrong man to play such games with.

"If you want to go home, then see you around," I replied, walking slowly back to the bench where we had sat earlier. "I am quite comfortable here for the time being thank you very much."

"You mean you are going to let me walk on my own?"

"You are not on your own," I told her genially. "You have lots of big fat rats for company."

With a squeal Pippa turned on her heel and started to march off, her heels crunching on the gravel pathway. She turned a corner and was gone from sight but I knew that she had stopped because I could no long hear her footsteps. Knowing that sound travels in the night I placed my tongue into he roof of my mouth and clucked it as loudly as I could two or three times. Sure enough madam returned using high anger to hide her quite entertaining fear.

"I insist that you walk me home," she said, in that attempt at an authoritative tone of voice that women use at times like this: and they wonder why men laugh at them.

"Insist all you like, darling. I leave when I am ready - so sit down and wait," I told her. At that point all Pippa had to do was hang around for a minute until the last of my cigarette had been smoked and then I would have walked her back to the main road and dumped her there. Of course that was too much to ask so she took a deep breath and as soon as I saw that I realised that the remainder of the evening was about to take an interesting turn.

To be continued.
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