Wednesday, 26 September 2012

Book Review: Diary of a Submissive

I went to WH Smith's in Manchester the other day to buy a Kobo e-book reader, and I saw that the entrance to the shop was pretty much stuffed with erotica. Sophie Morgan's Diary of a Submissive caught my eye and I began to flip through it. The rather sweet blonde girl who was selling me the Kobo offered to let me have The Diary of a Submissive for £3.00 or so, and on impulse I let her load it onto my new toy.

Sophie Morgan's book is advertised as the words of a genuine submissive, but I have my doubts about that. In fact, I have my doubts that the writer is even a woman, and for two reasons:

Firstly, she fills the book with references to her "arse" and her "slit." Those are very masculine nouns and women tend to avoid using such vulgarities. It is not proof positive that the writer is a man, but as I read through the book, the heavy emphasis on vulgar euphemisms made me suspect that it might be.

Secondly, women are good at describing emotions, and men shine when it comes to descriptions of actions. This book is excellent in the descriptive category, but lacks an awful lot of the emotion that women just excel at writing. Speaking as a writer of erotica myself, I could have written this book, but there is no way on earth that I could ever have turned out Fifty Shades of Grey. It is the difference between a female writing style and a male.

Being of a curious bent, I began to investigate this authoress and her work further. It turns out that the book was first issued by Xcite Books in 2010 as Subtext: A Modern Day Tale Of Female Submission, by Kate Marley. By all accounts the earlier version was marketed as a new Story of O, with no claims being made that it was a memoir.

Aside from the change of title and name of the authoress, there are some other changes to the two versions. The main dominant in Subtext is called Josh and for some reason he becomes James in the Diary of a Submissive. He also becomes very rich and Sophie Morgan starts to blush a lot as well as roll her eyes, thus earning more discipline. A cynic would argue that Penguin bought the rights to this work of fiction and the writer added those Fifty Shades of Grey details, before the whole thing was then punted out as a memoir, rather than a novel.

It could very well be that my fears are groundless and what we have here is a genuine submissive who writes like a man, chose to change her pen name and add some details to her manuscript that seem to have been lifted from Fifty Shades.

On the other hand this book could just be a novel...

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Naughty Secretaries' Paddle

I want one of these! It is hard to believe that people alive today - like me for instance - can remember when these little implements were openly sold as novelty items. Of course everyone pretended that they were just jokes, but enough secretaries really did feel a hard male hand when their work fell below par to make me wonder if this paddle was ever used in earnest.

Cheers: Chross

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Good Times With Girls: now out on Kindle

I'm pleased to report that Good Times With Girls is now available as an Amazon Kindle, thus the people sat next to you on the tube do not need to know what you are reading!

The price was set at £4.99, but for some reason Amazon have upped it to £5.14, but I will not argue with them over 15p. For a fiver this is damned fine value and not to be sniffed at.

Do you like the different covers for the electronic and paperback versions? That was my idea, but just about everything else was down to dear old Raven who damn near worked her tits off yesterday to make this version of the book available for your perving pleasure. Funnily enough, most of that hard work was done whilst I was tucked up in bed, snoozing gently. I would like to say that I feel guilty about that, but I cannot lie to you. What would we do without women, eh? We would have to domesticate some other wild animal, I suppose, and that would be a lot of work.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Good Times With Girls is available from Amazon

Amazon have announced that Good Times With Girls is now available to pre-order from them. My information is that orders placed in this way helps to speed up the whole process of getting my latest masterpiece onto Amazon's virtual shelves ASAP, which is to say PDQ.

So please put in your order and it should arrive by the first week in October. On the other hand if you absolutely have to have this latest edition to my magna opera in your hot little hands right now - and I don't blame you in the least- then click on over to and grab your copy there!

Monday, 17 September 2012

More of Kate Middleton naked

Dunno why young baldie has his hand covering Katie's bare bottom, but he has. Quite what he is doing is anyone's guess - finger fucking her, perhaps? Is that a tube of lube that I see in his other paw? We shall probably never know.

People have criticised us for running these delightful shots, but we argue that the public has a right to see their future queen-consort's tits and arse on display for the delectation and delight of her future subjects. Or something...

Yes, that's it!

Friday, 14 September 2012

Weekending: Kate Middleton Topless Photos

It's not just Prince Harry who likes to flash his crown jewels as now Princess Kate has been snapped getting her tits out for the lads. Well, getting them out for Balding Billy and any photographer who happened to be in the area with a long lens.

Back in April last year this blog was forced to award Waity Katie an Order of the Burning Buttocks for the disgraceful way in which she flashed the old upskirt to all and sundry. Clearly our well meaning strictures were ignored as now we have this shameless display from the brazen hussy.

Thursday, 13 September 2012

Good Times With Girls is now available

Good Times With Girls is now available at a special introductory price of just £7.99 from It will be available by the end of the month at Amazon, and the e-versions will also emerge this month.

You can read the introduction here.  The book follows on from A Spanking Good Life, and takes my spanking stories bang up to date. If you are a lover of genuine tales of recalcitrant females who just have to be taken across a man's knee and taught to mind their manners then you will love Good Times With Girls.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

50 Shades of Travelodge

The Travelodge chain of hotels in a move that clearly has nothing to do with a bit of self-publicity have announced that Fifty Shades of Grey tops the list of books that are abandoned in their hotel rooms. Hard though it may be to believe but over 7,000 copies of the work have been left abandoned by guests when they check out.

Could it be because the beds do not have bondage points where a naughty girl can be tied up, the books were no longer of use?

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Geri Halliwell

Geri Haliwell seems to have become flowery spice, thanks to this rather nice upskirt shot of her reaching into a car to grab something or other.

The problem is that this is not the first time that she has flashed her nicks for the delectation and delight of the more undiscerning perv, and it always tends to coincide with some move in her ever faltering career. Perish the thought that she was doing this deliberately the other day. Forget it, that is exactly what she was doing, the saucy little minx!


Monday, 10 September 2012

How to spank a sufffragette

British television used to produce excellent period drama, but that was when the dramatists really got into the skin of the characters, rather than doing as they do today which is to dress people up in old clothes and let them keep their 21st century attitudes and values.

Parade's End is a case in point. No woman a century ago would have had her hair as short as this actress has hers, nor would she dream of stepping outside without a hat. No man would ever address her without removing his hat, even if he were as angry as this fellow seems to be. She may be a suffragette, but she is still a member of the upper class and can expect to be treated accordingly.

That aside it is the dialogue that is anachronistic. He tells her that he is minded to give her a spanking, and she replies that she is sure that he thinks of nothing else. He then goes on to drool over her in an overtly sexual way. This is post-Freudian dialogue in a pre-Freudian world. People did not talk like that because it was not in their vocabulary. A young, unmarried girl would be spanked by her father if her conduct warranted it in his opinion, and this chap is clearly the guardian or something similar to the girl. So threatening her with a spanking was quite acceptable, but he would never have gone on to speak her  as he did here, and she would never have replied in that way. It is not how the Edwardian Era operated.

If you want to know how Edwardian suffragettes behaved then we have more than enough press reports to help us understand what happened back then:

In June 1912 an army of Belfast mill workers turned out to greet the great Protestant hero, Sir Edward Carson, and a group of suffragettes tried to disrupt the hero's welcome. So the female mill workers grabbed one of them, stripped her almost naked and gave her a sound spanking in the street. That same month two suffragettes were hauled up in front of the Belfast magistrates and complained that the local mill hands were "stripping and spanking suffragettes." It is unclear of this is a reference to the earlier incident or is other suffragettes had been taken in hand, but it is clear from the reports that nobody thought of these incidents as being in any way sexual - it was what happened to lippy women on occasion.

So come on British TV. Get back to the standards that we used to enjoy and leave out the trendy ideology because it does not help your period drama in any way, shape or form.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Introduction To Good Times With Girls

Since the paperback version of Good Times With Girls will emerge in about a week's time, I thought it a good idea to give you an extended taster of the book by posting the whole of the introduction here. For the first month or so the book will only be available from one site, but by the middle of October I expect that Amazon will have it as well. The e-versions will also appear over the next six weeks, so you have something to buy for your kinky Christmas.


 If you have read A Spanking Good Life, and you should because it is a damned fine read, then you will know all about me, but if you have not yet read it then allow me to  give you a brief outline of my life up to now:

I was born the year of the Suez Crisis in 1956, and left school fifteen years later as part of the last tranche who were able to go off and earn a living at that age instead of wasting another year of their lives providing employment for the teaching trade. For over a decade I worked as a projectionist and combined it with a nice little earner on the side as a writer of erotic short stories, or sleazy porno if you prefer. Finally, at the ripe old age of twenty-seven, I went off to university, first to Ruskin College, Oxford, and then to the University of Manchester. After graduating, I beetled off to Mexico where I spent the next two decades doing a bit of this and that, some of it being academic, but most of it not. As you can see, I am a self-made man, which at least relieves the almighty of an awful responsibility. 

You will want to know something about my physical appearance, I suppose, so let me give you a thumbnail sketch. I stand a shade over six feet tall and have worn glasses since I was a teenager. My moustache has been on my upper lip since I was nineteen and the beard that joined it a couple of years later was only shaved off in 2010 when it became too salt and peppery for my tastes. I buy my shirts and toiletries in London’s Jermyn Street and my jackets in Marks and Spencer’s.

My taste in aftershave may be that of the haute bourgeoisie, but my nose for women is louche in the extreme. If you did read A Spanking Good Life, then you will already know that the good time girls of this world really do get my gonads jangling. I find vanilla females very tiresome indeed, and I would much rather cross intellectual swords with a good time girl on the make than spend time with some tedious little wallflower. So when it came to choosing a theme for this follow-up to A Spanking Good Life my choice was not hard to make - I would just write about the girls that I find both fascinating and desirable.

A good time girl is not a prostitute exactly, but she possesses a negotiable virtue, and is quite happy to put her looks, charm and bedroom attributes to work in hooking a suitably solvent male.  For his part the fellow gets a girl who does not ask too many tiresome questions about his marital status, nor expects too much in the way of either fidelity or commitment, and who tends to go like a steam engine in bed. When you get right down to it, the chap who has never bet the contents of a well-stuffed wallet on one of these delightful wildcats has never really lived.

To a man who believes that a saucy female should have her backside paddled as a matter of course, a good time girl does provide an extra source of delight. Many of them are so used to acting as prima donnas with men who really do not know how to control these feral cats, that the opportunities to upend them for a schooling are virtually limitless. To be fair to the girls, I have never met one who has held a grudge against me because she has bet her soft female backside against my hard male hand and lost.

Until fairly recently it is fair to say that the British good time girl was virtually extinct, but as you will see later on they are now making a come back to our shores. I am all in favour of this, as anything that helps to lower the moral tone of the race and nation is to be encouraged. However, such was the dearth of indigenous good time girls that, as recently as 1993, I was forced to engage with a Polish import, who turned out to be wonderfully mercenary in her outlook. 

That said, it is to Mexico that we must look if we want to see the species thriving in large numbers in their natural habitat. That country has many things going for it, and the two that spring most readily to mind are a healthy attitude to work, and the easy availability of the female population to any man with a good-sized wallet and an eager penis.

Work, as we know, is the curse of the drinking classes, and the Mexican aversion to that vilest of four letter words is taken to extreme lengths. To be fair, Mexico is a country where wealth is largely inherited and where the right family connections count for everything. A person with ability but no connections is at a decided disadvantage.

El que no transa, no avanza, is the country’s unofficial motto. It means that if you do not hustle then you do not get anywhere. The Americans may believe that the poor are lazy and feckless, but south of the border the Mexicans know that the poor are just people still waiting for an opportune moment to arrive, so that they can hustle their way into the easy money.

Therefore, Mexico City is alive with sharp eyed, tight-skirted, high-heeled talent on the make, their hunters’ eyes constantly on the lookout for a man who is not quite as happy as he might be, especially if they see an opportunity to move in and displace his already existing lover. All is fair in the hunt for the next meal ticket.

To make matters even more interesting for the libertine, Mexico is actually a rather wealthy country, so it attracts fortune hunters from other parts of the Americas, and beyond the seas. Thus, I got to enjoy a rather tasty Argentinian girl who fled her country’s crisis in 2002, and I must not forget the American who found herself down south and worked her ticket home in the old-fashioned manner.

Once I realised how the country worked I fell into the Mexican ways with gusto. I had the advantage of being a white, non-American westerner. Not that there is anything wrong with los gabachos, but hard-eyed Mexican slappers take pride in their abilities to hook exotic fish, and there is nothing finer in their mind than a Western European. Trust me, you young fellows, when I say that to be born an Englishman living in a country like that really is like winning the lottery of life without having to buy a ticket in the pussy hunting stakes.

Sadly, all good things have to come to an end, and in December 2009 I returned to the UK due to ill health. As I recovered my strength and turned my attention to matters feline, I was delighted to discover that a new breed of good time girl had been created in Britain during my absence. Unlike their Mexican counterparts, the British girls are not hustling for money. In fact many of them seem to have married very well indeed and are cheerfully engaged in repaying their husbands’ generosity by taking lovers. The excuse is that the wretched men are working like dogs to keep their heads above water in these troubled times, and are too tired to pay their wives the attention that the little darlings demand. Trust me when I say that I do try to understand the thought processes that are at work inside these particular female minds, but my logical male brain just cannot get to grips with their behaviour. On the other hand, it is possible that my joints will not articulate sufficiently to get my head that far up my bum to make sense of them, but whatever their motivation is, they are all grease for the cock, which in the end is all that matters to me.

I may be uninterested in a good time girl’s motivation, so long as my balls have been suitably emptied and I am left with a nice shine to my knob, but I do find the demimondaines to be fascinating creatures that I cannot get enough of. I suppose when you get right down to it, the female who is not quite a whore, but who is certainly not a respectable member of bourgeois society, is just my kind of girl.

So, to all you good girls out there who want to know how bad girls behave, and to all you chaps who might be thinking about taking a wildcat on board, all I can say is come along and let me introduce you to a few of the more memorable ones. 

As with A Spanking Good Life, everything in this volume is the truth, but I have played fast and loose with the chronology and I have combined some characters to ease the telling of the tales that will follow. Needless to say, all of the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Monday, 3 September 2012

On becoming legal...

Moonglow Publishing Ltd was created last month and will soon publish Good Times With Girls, it's first ever title. The fact that it was written by me is just an added bonus. That said, everything is starting to feel a bit strange for me in this publishing lark. Up until now almost everything that I have done has involved handing over a manuscript to some wheezy semi-literate who then paid me in cash for my labours. Now I seem to have joined the ranks of the legitimate authors and will soon have to worry about such bourgeois matters as tax.

I prefer the old days...
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