Thursday, 30 December 2010

The "inner feminist weeps" cartoon

Frank Warren is the owner of, and every week he gets over a thousand postcards from people who want to confess their sins to him. He takes the best twenty of so, scans them and then posts them to his site.

The postcard on the left arrived in April 2008 and earned its place on the site. Matters may have ended there but the Times was looking for an easy story that month to fill space so they ran a piece about Frank's site and illustrated it with the girl's cartoon.

Who she is we don't know, but she can certainly draw, and her comment struck a chord in the popular imagination, so much so that copies of her work are now all over the web.

Not bad going for a simple sketch and a brief confession.

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

This blog is booming!

"Some readers of this blog have contacted Google because they believe this blog's content is objectionable."

That's how the new warning message  that Google has stuck up on my blog starts, before going on to say that basically Google doesn't give a stuff about content, so click the button to enter the site.

It's the word objectionable that I find most appealing. It conjures up images of anal retentives who are offended and who want their sense of that which is offensive in their sight to be noted. Verily, it is duly noted and they are cordially invited to pull their foreskins over their heads and wank themselves to death.

For the rest of you the blog is clearly hopping because we are now averaging over 300 hits a day and I hope that the dominant fellows and their suitably compliant females who make up the bulk of those hitsters will continue returning to give a traditional, British, two-fingered salute to the dickless dwarfs who live in the shadows and who find us so frightfully objectionable!

Monday, 27 December 2010

Hack Attack!

I suppose that it had to happen sooner or later: an attempt was made a couple of hours ago to hack into the accounts that run this blog, leading Google to suspend both the e-mail and blog. To get both up and running again I had to send a valid mobile number to the Google system and then  the number rang and a disembodied voice gave me a six digit code to put into the access page. Once that was done everything suddenly started to work again. I suppose the only real problem came about because whilst in Mexico I am using the crappy, semi-official mobile provider and the code has still not arrived at that number several hours after it was requested. However my son has a Nextel phone and that company got the call through in seconds.

So who hates me enough to want to put the blog off-line? Take your pick from mouthy ex-lovers who don't know their place onwards. However, one thing is clear: the buggers failed!

Saturday, 25 December 2010

Monday, 20 December 2010

Calling all wannabes: here's how it's done!

I am often accused of both sexism and misogyny. The first I plead guilty to, but the second is a nonsense. I don't hate women, I just don't take most of the superficial little darlings all that seriously. However, what I have never done is to try and force any woman to do something that she really didn't want to do, and that point is important since there is a nasty internet rumour going around to the contrary. In fact so strong is this Facebook-based tale that Raven Red was actually warned by at least one person not to spend last month in my house as I do not respect the notion of consensual activity. She ignored the advice and will be back with me next July, but let's nail this load of old wank once and for all, shall we?

Fuck or fuck off has always been my attitude towards the fair sex. I do not go looking for submissive girls to spank, I just seek out females and then spank them. Or rather I wait until they do something particularly inane - it doesn't take long, we are talking about women after all - and then I warn them that a repeat performance will earn them a trip across my knee. At that point madam is more than at liberty to tell me that a smacked bottom is out of the question. In which case my fuck or fuck off rule comes into play and I either throw her out, if we are at my place, or put my coat on and leave if at hers. 

On the other hand, if madam decides that she wants to carry on seeing me, but doesn't fancy the idea of too many smacked bottoms then all she has to do is keep her innate female silliness under some sort of control and she need never find herself staring at a carpet as her knickers are taken down. I don't invent reasons to spank, and if truth be told what I really want is a quiet life.

Where did this nasty rumour about me come from? Probably from within the ranks of the hand shandyists who are only socially-conservative behind a computer monitor. At all other times they are pussy-whipped wannabes who find it hard to keep Mrs Hand and her five daughters in line, never mind a real live woman.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Vote for the Pink Report

It's that time of year when blog readers are asked to vote for their  favourite spanking read of 2010. Cuddly Uncle Nick has voted for The Pink Report over at the Spanking Spot's poll and hopes that you will follow the link and cast your vote for the lovely Miss Pink as well.

Monday, 13 December 2010

Advertising the old fashioned way

Rather an amusing American advert from the late 1930s. What interests me about it is the matter of fact way in which a wife is being disciplined by her husband. This is an advert for flour, but there is no suggestion that the audience of the day didn't understand the message which is that wives are under their husbands' authority.

Where did western society go wrong?

Friday, 10 December 2010

On caring for a tawse


Following on from Wednesday's posting, I decided that the tawse needed some care and attention, having been stuck in a drawer for two years, so I went and bought some saddle soap. It will probably be the middle of 2011 before it gets to teach Raven her lesson but it is never too soon to start bringing this delightful implement back to its full vigour.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Bringing a daughter to heel

George Thompson was a man who knew how to keep his daughter Loretta in line - even when she was 34 years old. She stayed out until midnight according to this  front page LA Times report of the 25 May 1938 and her bottom paid the price with Loretta across her daddy's knee. The matter was resolved with Loretta agreeing to be home by 10.00pm during the week and at midnight on weekends.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Looking ahead with pleasant anticipation

A posting over at Raven Red's place has put me even more out of sorts than I was owing to the effects of Monday's flight. Whilst I was in the air, suffering the pain that British Airways inflicts on its passengers,  Raven was getting her backside tawsed with an implement that I tracked down for her in England. 

She went back to South Africa last week, taking with her the cane and tawse pictured above. The cane was mine and was given to her as a gift for a certain HH, but the tawse had to be bought, an activity that took up rather more of my time than I wished to dedicate to it. Eventually I found one through my contacts which at least shut up the Raven's inane prattling on the subject.

The reason why all this has left me out of sorts is that although I welted her backside with the cane, I never got the opportunity to grease up the tawse across her bare rump before both rump and tawse left the country. Raven went to Coventry for a night and had the item in her bag. She claims that the bag fell open on the bed just as she was about to leave and that the tawse fell out unbeknownst to herself.

Yes, I know, she's a woman and therefore scatterbrained and quite capable of doing stupid things as a matter of course, but this is stretching my credulity just a little too far, especially since madam had been saying that the tawse might just get lost  in the English Midlands...

To make matters worse, yesterday Raven suggested that we go and buy another tawse just like the one that went to South Africa and that was when my nose really went out of joint. Few people ever get away with patronising me - few men I really should say and no fucking women at all at least if they know what is good for them!

So, here is what is going to happen. Back in 1990 I purchased the tawse that is pictured on the left. It is a ferocious implement, and one that was left here in Mexico when I returned to the UK in December of 2009.

As soon as I saw Raven's posting I called her on Skype, and just as soon as that little chat was over I went and recovered my trusty old tawse and took a photo of it to send to her. That photo is reproduced here. As you can see from the picture below, this tawse is not a toy and I absolutely fucking guarantee that Raven la Roja is going to be sleeping on her stomach and eating her meals standing up for a week  after it has been used on her.

On that happy note breakfast calls!

Friday, 3 December 2010


Blogging is going to be light until the middle of January as I will be in Mexico until then. I will do my best to produce a couple of updates a week, so stay tuned.

In the meantime Raven Red has produced her take on the well earned caning that I gave her the other day, so please take a trip over to her place and read her make a drama out of the few light taps that did little more than tickle her bottom.

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Caveat Emptor

There are certain things that just tickle my funny bone and this cartoon in one of them. With thanks to The Pink Report.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Hello Sally's Bottoms

Fuck or fuck off: that has always been my first rule when dealing with women. I have never forced any woman to do anything that she didn't want to do, but on the other hand if any little darling wants something from me then she pays for it first, usually on her back, but occasionally on her knees or doggie style, depending upon my mood. God bless the little darlings, but they either fuck or they get told to fuck off and that is just the way life is in Nick Urzdown's world.

The other day a little Facebook darling called Sally Phillips contacted me wanting to be my friend, indeed she claimed that she wanted me to be her mentor. Being my usual cynical self I used this little toy to check out her photos and found that some had been nicked from a Russian site. I looked at her blog and realised quickly that we are both in the trade - she is trying to earn a buttie with her site - so I wrote back and said that if she wanted my help then an end to the chicanery was a prerequisite. I also gave her a link to the archive site that I keep as an awful warning to slappers everywhere not to even think about trying it on with me. Not that Sally is a slapper - perish the thought...  Anyway, the lady has agreed to play fair and I am happy to give her a helping hand.

If she wants anything more than that then obviously rule one will apply, but as things stand I am happy to play the role of avuncular uncle so long as Sally stays a good girl. If she ever becomes a bad one then that might just have to change...

Sunday, 28 November 2010

Another Caning For Raven Red

Raven Red is on her way back to South Africa, her flight having left Heathrow on its twelve hour journey at 8.00pm yesterday. Heaven knows how she is sitting down at the time of writing given the caning that I gave her on Friday afternoon, but that is not my problem. It was my pleasure to administer the correction, but the problem is all Raven's.

The agreement that we had prior to her arrival in this country was that she would reduce her weight to 15 stones or 105 kilos. That she failed to do and she tipped the scales at 123 kilos, and thus received one stroke for every kilo over her agreed weight. The 18 strokes were laid on at about 3.00pm and the photo was taken an hour or so later.

Madam hopes to reach her final weight of 11 stones or 80 kilos by the middle of 2011. Hopefully she will be back in the UK by that time and she is aware that the cane awaits any backsliding.

Monday, 22 November 2010

The Take Three Girls Spanking


Although I say it myself, I was a handsome devil back in 1996, wasn't I? The spanking that I administered back then wasn't my greatest, but I was on video and the aim was to keep it going as long as possible. Joanne, the young actress on the receiving end, was clearly going orgasmic as my hand cracked down across her rump and that was another reason not to rush things. I have to be honest and say that when I am spanking a genuinely naughty girl then the intention is always to smack hard and fast so as to teach madam her lesson, but when it is a spot of video work I always aim to please the viewer, and I think that I did that back in 1996. Joanne wasn't complaining, either!

The clip comes from Moonglow, the new spanking magazine that is currently on sale at just £10.00, post paid. Click this link and take a look at what is on offer inside the full issue.

Friday, 19 November 2010

La Fessée Part Seven


In this quite marvellously daft final clip everyone gets spanked by everyone else. First the master spanker deals with a traffic warden, then he is spanked in his turn by a rather elegant women. The film ends with every girl who has appeared in it being spanked by all the male characters before sucking and fucking every one of them. What an ending - what a film!

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Raven's first spanking

Actually if you want to be pedantic, yesterday's spanking was not her first since I did have the lady across my knee a couple of weeks ago, but that affair was little more than a tickle, with yesterday's event being very much the real thing.

I suppose that I had a reason to spank her, but let's be honest it was just an excuse. Raven has been with me for three weeks and during most of that time I was ill with a nasty chest infection and then she came down with a cold so neither of us were in any mood for anything other than curing our respective illnesses. My strength is now returning and Raven's nasty cough is under control, so yesterday seemed like a good day to underline the respective male and female roles in this relationship.

We were in the bedroom and Raven probably had an idea of what was about to happen, certainly her shoulders sagged slightly as I began telling her why she was shortly to pay a trip across my knee. She made a rather feeble attempt at justification, but I told her in my best peremptory  manner that I wasn't interested in female prattle and then I pulled her across my knee, thus short circuiting any further tedious delaying tactics.

It was the work of a moment to haul up her skirt and then Raven's black satin panties came down in no time at all. I am not a great believer in delaying matters so once those preliminaries had been accomplished I proceeded to administer the spanking, alternating one cheek with the other, and bringing my hand down in a great arc from high above  my head to smack it with full velocity across Raven's upturned rump.

The nice thing about a good hand spanking is that it is pretty hard to overdue things since the aching in the arm and the tingling of the palm usually provides sufficient notice that the correction has been suitably administered. That said, I have been left with a rather badly bruised little finger, so perhaps I did allow my enthusiasm to get the better of me on this occasion. Raven received a good one hundred smacks, all laid on with the full weight of my arm behind each one, and was left visibly shaking when I allowed her to rise.

Since then madam has been rather subdued, and we shall see how she behaves over the course of the next few days before a final decision as to the full efficacy of yesterday's event can be made. However my gut feeling is that Raven is going to be very careful around me for the rest of this week at least.

Saturday, 13 November 2010

The Moonglow magazine is here!

Here she is folks - the first issue of Moonglow, the next generation spanking magazine. As editor what I have tried to do is combine the best of the old printed magazines with today's technology to bring you the future of our kink today.

Moonglow fits on a DVD disk, but it is burned using CD-Rom technology. You open it on any computer and as with all magazines you will see an index page.Just click on any link to go to the section that you want - an electronic way of flicking through a magazine.

The content will please even the most jaded spanking palate. I have included a reprint of the first ever edition of Blushes from the 1980s in PDF format so you can print it up if you want. Enough video to keep even the most demanding customer happy - would you believe over two hours of high quality spanking video? I have even included a blast from the real life spanking past with a report of the Darren Nesbitt and Ann Aubrey case from 1972, complete with reprints of all the newspaper coverage of the day.

All that and more for just £10.00 or $15.00 if you live in the USA. Just click this link to order your copy post free right now!

La Fessée Part Six


Our hero receives a telegram summoning him back to the village of his birth. He finds a wake in progress and a very merry widow who turns out to be none other than Elizabeth, the girl that he had spanked all those years ago when he was but a youth. Obviously he feels the urge to take her across his knee again before knobbing her firmly for old time's sake.

Friday, 12 November 2010

Brazilian spanking


You have to love Latin types - the way that they scream at one another just confirms every belief we ever had about these inbreds. Here a Brazilian mother demonstrates the finer points of hysteria before taking a belt to her recalcitrant daughter. If anyone wants a translation then they can forget it as far as I am concerned. I speak Spanish, and Portuguese is basically a dialect, but it sounds a bit like the unintelligible Spanish that  a  lobotomised retard might speak.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Office spanking

Cathelco in Chesterfield sounds like my kind of company. Pete Smith the sales manager likes to watch porn on his computer, sit pretty girls on his knee and chase them around the office before adminstering a good over the knee spanking as he did to a certain Laura Holland.

Angelina Ashby did not find it all that amusing and has taken the company to an industrial tribunal claiming constructive dismissal. Aside from moaning about Pete, she also claims that other members of staff teased her for being fat, but it is the fate of Laura that interests me the most.

Alas we do not have any more information and won't until next year as one of the tribunal members knew a witness so the whole matter will have to be redone next year.

Monday, 8 November 2010

The Gym Lesson


Back in the mid 1970s Janus had the bright idea of producing a series of 8mm spanking films for the home market. Unfortunately they lacked a cinematographer, so went and paid a visit to the only one in town who just might agree to produce and direct the films for them, a certain George Harrison Marks.

Harrison Marks had no interest whatsoever in spanking - his bag was girl on girl as you will see when you watch the film, but he did understand film making and produced a workmanlike series of films for Janus which the magazine proceeded to sell at about £50 a throw.

If you are wondering what happened to the sound, relax, because these are silent movies, people!

Saturday, 6 November 2010

La Fessée Part Five


The master spanker has been hired to deal with a sullen teenage girl by her weary father. The girl tries to escape but our hero catches her, bares her, and then teaches her proper comportment by hand and cock. The clip ends with a rather amusing fantasy sequence.

Friday, 5 November 2010

On caning Raven Red

I caned Raven Red yesterday - twelve good strokes, each one well laid on, that left her whimpering. If you want a full account of the event then la Red has one already posted, so please read her memories of the event. What I want to talk about is the cane, or rather my dislike of it.

There is something impersonal about a caning that is at the very root of my distaste for the implement. Putting a woman across my knee, holding her in position and raising her skirt before peeling down her panties is not just a preparation for the discipline to come, it is also an intimate delight in itself. Indeed the whole act of administering a spanking is intimate, especially the way in which a wriggling female rubs herself unconsciously against her chastiser's hardening cock.

So why did I cane Raven? Basically because I was angry at an event that almost got her killed back in her native South Africa. I had told her at the time that a dozen with the cane was waiting for her, so yesterday was really about nothing more than administering that which had been previously awarded.

The world is a really nice place with Raven in it. Let's hope that she stays around for many decades to come and does not allow her seeming death wish to ever get the better of her again. In the meantime she can carry on moaning for the next few days, in her curious mixture of English and Afrikaans, about the state of her very well thrashed bottom from now until the cows come home as far as I am concerned.

My liberalism knows no bounds.

Wednesday, 3 November 2010

The silliness of "sir"

Some short while ago I was chatting on-line to an American girl who kept on calling me "sir." I find such affectations rather amusing, but have always wondered why some people insist on the use of such terminology? I mean if a girl is sobbing quietly, rubbing her red bottom, and with her knickers still at knee height, then surely such gestures are redundant? Especially if the girl's voice then changes to become more liquid and gentle, if she becomes more tactile in her gestures, and starts to seek approval and permission before she acts. A woman who does that can call me whatever she likes as far as I am concerned because both of us know who wears the trousers and that it isn't her.

I think that the problem with the you will  call me sir brigade is that they seem to be working from a script - they are like actors in other words. They seem to think that if they stick to the script then so will everyone else, especially the girl. However, what if she can't contain her giggles at the thought of hackneyed and stilted dialogue? Is there a Plan B or do you just start to shout at her in the hope of breaking her down? This does not strike me as a good way to get a girl's respect and without that you are doomed, anyway.

So lose the scripts, guys, is my advice.

Tuesday, 2 November 2010

La Fessée Part Four


Our hero arrives at an office to attend to the owner. She is spanked soundly and then bent over her own desk for a taste of the master spanker's cock. The secretary walks in and joins the fun making a perfect clip for all you lovers of girl on girl action. This rather leads us to ask  the obvious question - why are real-life lesbians always so fucking ugly compared to the ones we see on screen?

Friday, 29 October 2010

La Fessée Part Three


In part three of la Fessée our master spanker belabours the backside of his local shopkeeper who very kindly then takes him shopping for clothes. The clips ends with about twenty naked girls dancing around our spanker who agrees to take one of them across his knee for a bottom warming.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

TV Spankings: Bat Masterson


I don't remember this western series from back in the day which is probably why this spanking had passed me by until just yesterday. The scene is played very light-heartedly and it is obvious from the dialogue that the girl is going to have her pert bottom smacked.

However, it is the actual spanking itself that is interesting. Bat Masterson, played by Gene Barry, strides into the cell and beckons the girl to position herself over his knee. That she does with only a small amount of further encouragement from him. It is the air of resignation that she demonstrates which makes the scene so sweet, as it carries with it the notion that she is accepting her punishment with as good a grace as possible.

This episode of the series was shot in 1959. Although played tongue in cheek - just look at Gene Barry's face! - it did tie into the prevailing notion that a saucy young madam deserved to have her bottom smacked - and the saucy young madams of the day accepted that nostrum just as much as the rest of society.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Cinema Spankings: Lucky Star

Made in 1929, Lucky Star was one of the last silent films, but don't let that put you off as the spanking is a corker. He bends her over for correction and as his palm descends methodically across the traditional seat of learning, she sinks her teeth into his thigh. The harder he spanks her the deeper she bites into him.

Eventually he decides that honour has been satisfied and lets he rise. The scene ends with both bottom and thigh being rubbed firmly by their respective owners.

Raven Red's first week in the UK

Raven Red is flying up the coast of Africa on her way to London as I write these words. Her flight gets in at about 7.00am and she will be picked up by the owner of Moonglow, who will take her to a family home in the Midlands. The next couple of days will be spent with her family and trying to get used to an English late October.

The lady may go to the Night of the Cane in London on Friday, but that is still uncertain. As for me, I would sooner have a tooth pulled without anaesthetic than spend an evening in the company of wannabes and punters, but to each his own.

She is now confirmed to arrive here in the north on Sunday, so as far as I am concerned it really is all about trying to improve my health as best I can and prepare for her visit.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

Blue was never the colour of her bottom

I used the call her Blue, teasing her that I did not need the blue-coloured Viagra pills when she was around. Just a couple of years younger than me, normally I would not have bothered about a woman that age, but Blue had worn well and was still willowy and lithe in spite of her fifty years. She was a creole, a person of European blood, born on that native Mexican shore but not indigenous to it. Unlike her olive-brown sisters, with their wide hips and heavy breasts, who are old and worn out from work and childbearing by the time they are Blue's age, this woman had clear, milky skin and a bottom that was pert and firm to the smack.

Which of course was how we got in touch - or rather how she got in touch with me, since she was the one who had the need for her bottom to be smacked. Blue made it plain that all she wanted was the spanking and I for some reason went along with her nonsense for about a week. During that time we met twice and her bottom was blistered twice, but as you might expect old Nick felt distinctly unhappy as he hauled his hard-on away at the end of those sessions.

The third time we met my sanity had returned and as we parked our cars in the hotel's car park I blithely informed madam that on this occasion her buttocks were to burn and her pussy was then to be stretched. She started to bluster and came up with all sorts of excuses, but I just turned on my heel and strode off to the reception desk. Glancing back over my shoulder I told her that if she didn't move I would get the room and order the hotel to send me up a house prostitute to entertain me.

As we rode up in the lift Blue was almost crying with fury. She sort of spat at me that I could do as I pleased, she didn't care, and all she planned to do was close her eyes and wait for it to be over. Fine, so long as I shoot my wad, what do I care? I didn't actually say that, but the thought went through my mind...

Getting her into the room did not shut Blue up in the least, which meant that I was in no mood for pleasantries. She was wearing a blue and white polo shirt with wide white trousers. I simply unbuttoned them, pulled down her zip, spun madam around and yanked both trousers and knickers to her knees. The lady was then pulled across my knee as I sat down on the bed and my right leg was cocked over her thighs to stop any nonsense.

I think it fair to say that this was a memorable spanking. It was not that I was particularly annoyed at Blue, but I was irritated by her attitude. As I soundly spanked first one cheek and then the other, I reflected that the whole point of a spanking is not to hurt the girl's bottom and leave it at that. It is to modify the female behaviour pattern, so that obedience comes from within her. The trick is to close down her options, so that the act of submission becomes the only possible outcome. If a man can get a woman to accept that within her own mind then he is well on the way to success with her.

Blue ceased to struggle, although she managed to prevent herself from crying, and I brought the discipline to a close. I let her fall to the floor and gave her a moment to compose herself, before I took my semi-hard cock from my trousers and grabbed a handful of her long blonde hair. Then I put my cock into her mouth and held her head as she sucked it to full hardness.

I picked her up and she looked me full in the face with a look of utter resignation on her face. I lowered he onto the bed, checked with my finger to see that she was slick and wet, then I mounted her to begin a slow, remorseless body of fuck pokes that drove my cock deep into her helpless body. Blue wrapped her arms around my neck, and slowly but surely I built up the rhythm to a killing velocity that had her throwing her head back and making low animal like noises in her throat. A minute or two before I shot my load into her I felt her bring her thighs together, try to close them, but being prevented from doing so by my own thighs that held hers apart by force. She was coming - that was what she did at her moment of truth.

Later she told me that she had just had her first ever climax with a man. It seems that he husband was an in-out type of fellow who shot very quickly. That information gave me a great deal of pleasure then, just as thinking about it gives me an almost equal amount of pleasure now.

Blue was my mistress for almost a year, but she could never get over her guilt at her status as the married lover of a married man. Given that your average Beaner will betray anyone, any time and for really small rewards, that has always struck me as a very un-Mexican attitude that Blue had, but had it she did and that is why she stopped seeing me.

Sunday, 24 October 2010

The Beating of Rosie Keller

The  original Rosie Keller was a young French prostitute who was given a damned fine birching by the Marquis de Sade in 1768, and the use of her name in this video classic suggests that not all sleaze-bag porn merchants are illiterate pond life.

The story behind this shoot is good fun. The girl playing the teacher had never used a cane before and was put to work practising in one corner of the set on a cushion. The actress playing Rosie saw this and her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. By all accounts the atmosphere was electric with Rosie becoming more and more nervous as the teacher began to develop an affinity for the cane.

By the time the director called action, both girls were completely lost in their roles. Actually there was not all that much difference in their ages, with Rosie being perhaps a little older than her co-star, but watching the video it is obvious that they dropped naturally into their roles and played them to the hilt.

Friday, 22 October 2010

La Fessée Part Two


Let's watch the second part of la Fessée, in which our master spanker takes the young wife of an older man across his knee to liven her up for the good seeing to that she will receive afterwards.

Monday, 18 October 2010

Will the spanking days return?

Just Married was a 1960s American magazine and the issue that we have taken some pages from appeared in June 1968.

The interesting thing about this story is just how normal the spanking is treated. The hero is upset at his wife's behaviour, and in the panel below he decides how he shall handle the situation.

It really is then just a matter of waiting for his wife to disobey him one more time before taking her in hand, much to the amusement of the onlookers.

The spanking is not played for laughs and the magazine was certainly not aimed at the kinky population of  the  day. The spanking is treated as something not only justifiable but also normal; this is how naughty wives should be treated is the theme. 

Is it too much to ask for the wheel to turn again and return us to those socially conservative days? It cannot come about because we kinksters demand it, if only because we have a vested, kinky interest in the matter. However it may happen if vanilla people decide that the world is a better place when men and women behave as Old Mother Nature intended that they should.

Let us hope that we shall live to see that happen.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

La Fessée Part One


The plot of  la Fessée features a master spanker who is paid to administer correction to suitably deserving females. I have edited the film into seven parts and will run one a week until the whole film is available here. In today's clip we learn how the master became that man that he is.

The film was made in France in 1976 and took the spanking world by storm. France had liberalised her anti-pornography laws and pretty much anything went during that golden age of French pornography which lasted from roughly 1975 to 1980. 

Unlike their American counterparts, the French used full studio facilities, with directors and technicians brought in from the existing film industry. For that reason alone la Fessée is worth an outing over thirty years after it was made, but there is another reason why I am presenting it here.The point about this film is that it makes explicit one of the themes that this blog exists to propound: spanking leads directly to sex, or at least it should do.

A girl who is freshly spanked is in no position to argue when her man bends her over again, only this time to act as a holster for his suitably throbbing cock.For some reason the spanking video makers fail to grasp this basic truth, but the director of la Fessée did not make that mistake. Each girl in this film is spanked and fucked vigorously which is as it should be.

Thursday, 14 October 2010

Raven's Ravished Rump!

Raven Red has been caned and paddled tonight. Nine with the cane and nine with the paddle has left her very sore and seriously chastened. This is one saucy madam who will mind her manners for a good few days.

The photo has only just arrived and the reason why I am posting it is fairly straightforward. Raven has been on a serious diet for just over two months.  She wants to get her weight down to 80 kilos or eleven stones, and I reckon that she will probably hit her target weight early next year. In the last three months she has managed to lose 25 kilos, which is almost four stones, so if anyone thinks that she will fail to hit her target all I can say is that you don't know this girl, do you?

A freshly chastised female bottom is always a pleasant sight to behold, but Raven's rump is going to look ascetically very pleasing indeed when she gets her weight back to normal.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

An audience for a spanking

During the years that I lived in Mexico I ran a Yahoo group dedicated to our little predilection, indeed it was the first such group set up in Mexico, running in Spanish. Quite a few women got in touch with me via the group seeking discipline and I would always make it clear to them that a red rump was going to be followed by a well stretched pussy. Some dropped out, whereas others were only too happy to agree to my terms. A group larger than either of the other two consisted of the women who put forward objections to receiving my cock, but who really only wanted to be held down for the knobbing. Needless to say I was only too pleased to oblige those fine ladies.

Paloma was one of the few females who managed to complete part one of the process without ever proceeding to part two and how she did it was a masterly example of feminine guile in action. She contacted me to discuss a spanking and once she had satisfied herself that I knew what I was talking about and was not all tongue and trousers she set her trap.

She explained that she was interested in video work and went on to enquire, sweetly, if it involved sex. I replied that it didn't, and went on to explain that an audition would be needed. I should have been wary when she agreed to that with alacrity, and double wary when she suggested a discrete hotel and promised to be in a room waiting for me. Experience should have taught me that when something is too good to be true it invariably is, but greed got the better of me and I wandered off to the hotel on the day in question to find Paloma, a well preserved and incredibly rich looking 30 year old, waiting for me.

She explained that her husband was not a disciplinarian and that should have given me pause for thought because how could such an obviously wealthy married women appear in one of my videos? She also asked me if I wouldn't mind acting as if I were a her father and give her a lecture over something or other? That struck me as strange since the aim of the session was just to test out her capacity to receive a spanking, but Paloma explained that she really needed to get into the swing of things otherwise she would not be able to kick her legs like a real naughty girl would. I agreed, obviously I did, because I am truly the whitest of men.

I pushed Plaoma into a corner and held her wrists firmly by her side. Speaking softly into her ear I told her in Spanish that she was a bad girl and all the protests in the world would not save her from the retribution to come. At first she struggled, but gradually the fight left her and she stood quietly, head down, awaiting her fate. I was seriously impressed with what I still imagined was her acting talent...

Taking the wretched girl by the arm I marched her over to the bed, sat down and pulled her across my knee. It was the work of a moment to flip up her cotton skirt and peel down her white panties to mid thigh. Cocking my right leg over her thighs to prevent any bucking and weaving, I proceeded to administer correction to the traditionally seat of learning.

Paloma behaved as any normal girl would under those circumstances. First she wriggled her hips from side to side and then she put her right hand behind herself to try to cover her rapidly reddening buttocks. I grabbed her wrist and folded the arm neatly into the small of her back before continuing the spanking to its conclusion in a crescendo of rapid fire smacks that left Paloma breathless and unable to squeal any more. She lay  helpless across my knee, sobbing quietly and utterly unable to resist.

The temptation to proceed to the next stage which involves the thoroughly submissive and obedient little girl receiving a good knobbing was almost too much to resist, and certainly my cock was straining against my trousers in its eagerness to be inside Paloma's no doubt ripe pussy. However, and you may find this hard to believe, but sheer greed got the better of me. I really thought that this bright eyed and bushy tailed young madam was going to be the next star of the spanking video world and I wanted my fair share of the financial action so I left her unfucked to compose herself.

I smoked a cigarette while Paloma blubbered and then went off to the bathroom to do whatever women do at times like that. When she returned a few minutes later she looked none the worse for wear and had a perky smile on her elfin face. That was when I noticed that the lace curtain in the window was blowing gently in the breeze. . .

I strode across and pulled back the curtain. Looking down from the first floor room I saw the courtyard below where the cars were parked and standing around, all smoking and with big grins on their faces were the men of the hotel, the car jockeys, bellboys and the like. I turned to Paloma and gestured for her to come and have a look.

As soon as she appeared in the window a cheer went up from the men below, a cheer that sort of froze in their throats as Paloma gazed steadily from one to the next, quite simply freezing their little balls in their sacks, by gazing at each man in turn, holding his eyes for a moment until he looked away and then going on to the next in line. It was  a masterly demonstration of how an upper class Mexican woman keeps the lower orders in their place. Paloma quite simply demonstrated a total, patrician contempt for the men, something that they sensed and felt helpless to do anything about. A few minutes later and we were downstairs waiting for two of those same men to bring our cars. During that time Paloma stood quietly, a hand resting on my shoulder, completely oblivious to the people around all of whom knew that her backside was the colour of a tomato and that she would be sleeping on her stomach that night. The cars arrived, Paloma kissed me on the lips and climbed into her car. I was pleased to see her sit down gingerly and she had the good grace to pout at me before she drove off. 

I never saw her again. All the contact details that I had suddenly went dead and that was the end of Paloma. Obviously she had played me like a violin to get what she wanted out of me. She used my own greed and desire to make money out of her as a way of blinding me to the game that she was playing until it was too late. That said I don't hold any malice towards her - Paloma was a consummate player and she earned my respect for that. Not only that, but she brought home to a gang of Pedros, Pacos and Panchos just what it means to be a brown-skinned, short-dicked loser.

That is something that I still chuckle over:

Monday, 11 October 2010

Looking forward to having Raven Red with me next month


I am not a great music fan but there has always been something that I find appealing about this Billy Joel hit from the early 1980s. I suppose that it is doubly appealing at the moment since Raven Red is due to arrive in the UK at the end of the month and will spend November with me here in England. Raven is a South African business executive and I am a bloke from Northern England who makes a sort of living by selling spanko-porno on the web. It has all the makings of a match made in heaven - or more likely somewhere further south... We were chatting on Skype the other day and I mentioned that I used to be a club doorman back in the day. There was a silence on the other end of the line, one of those pauses that used to be described as pregnant, before Raven replied in a voice so small as to be almost inaudible, "Really?"

Like many women I suppose she was first taken in by the Jermyn Street shirts and the like that I tend to effect, but the debonair exterior covers a pretty louche interior and one that I am rather proud of. The gentlemanly air is one that I picked up at Oxford, but it has never been anything other than a veneer, used to attract women of a particular type; the Raven Red type if you want to know. 

The plan is that we shall both blog the month's activities from our different perspectives. Neither of us will know what the other has written until it has gone live and neither can use what the other has posted to provoke an argument.

All in all, November looks like being an interesting month...

Friday, 8 October 2010

Janika: an unknown spanking scene


Does anybody know anything about this scene and the language that it is in? The clip is called Janika and a play of that name was popular in Hungary before the Second World War, with a film version being made in 1949. The faintly ludicrous plot involves a wife called Gizi who invents a son, Janika, in an attempt to woo back her estranged husband. The clip seems to be from that play, but can anyone translate the dialogue?

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Is this a genuine spanking?

Is this a photo of a genuine spanking or has it been staged? If it is a still from a Hollywood film then I do not recognise the people involved, and the look of anguish on the girl's face suggests that she has just felt that hairbrush and is waiting for it to crack down again.

Anybody have any information?

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

More thoughts on Raven Red

Raven Red's blog has only been running for a few days but is already a success with over a hundred hits a day - clearly we are looking at the next heavyweight spanking blog and within a very short time other bloggers will be writing to Raven asking her to link to their blogs. Good for her, but what accounts for her phenomenal success?

To succeed a blog needs to have something unique about it and Raven's South African perspective certainly creates that sense of uniqueness about her blog. Let's be honest - what do most people really know about South Africa in general let alone the country's spanking attitudes? Thanks to Raven Red we now know quite a bit, and will probably learn a lot more as the blog develops.

Secondly Raven Red brings a refreshing candour to her writing. She may change some small details to protect the guilty, as it were, but these are the real memories of a real woman. That honesty shines through her blog and helps to make it one of today's must read websites.

Monday, 4 October 2010

The Sugar Rush Spanking


Everyone's favourite uncle was out of the country when Sugar Rush was transmitted in 2006. The spanking scene featured in the first episode of the second series, and is rather good in its sensual way.

The interesting thing about this is that it features a lesbian spanking, with a woman of about 30 disciplining a 17 year old girl. Would such a scene be allowed if the disciplinarian had been a man? The answer is obviously  no, because in the Britain of today kinkiness seems to come in two categories - that which is acceptable to the ideologically pure at heart and that which is not.

Friday, 1 October 2010

Introducing Raven Red: a new blog on the block

Raven Red is the nickname of a white South African woman with a blog that went  live a few minutes ago. I have seen her first few postings in draft form and have no hesitation in recommending the Raven Red Blog to you.

Raven's blog is going to be about spanking, of course, but also about the authoresses' reasons for wishing to leave South Africa. Raven plans to explore her own growing sense of submissive sexuality and also her increasing alienation from the South Africa of today. If you think about it for a moment, Raven is doubly alienated because she lives in a crime-infested, corrupt, third world shithole - and one that is deeply socially conservative to boot. Coming to terms with both herself and what is happening to her country is the aim of Raven Red the blogger.

All in all a blog to link to and visit, says Uncle Nick, so please put the word out.

Thursday, 30 September 2010

Anyone recognise this Italian cinema spanking scene?

Does anybody know anything about this film? The brief mass spanking is obviously being played for laughs but the idea does have potential - so who can tell us why the women were causing such trouble which led to their being spanked?

Monday, 27 September 2010

Introducing Moonglow Magazine

Moonglow is well known for its spanking videos and soon the name will be on every spanking aficionado's lips when the magazine of that name is published. I can tell you now that it is going to be great, and it will take the world of CP by storm. How do I know? I'm the  Moonglow editor, that's how I know.

What type of magazine is it? Well, first of all it will be on disk. Load the disk into your computer and the Moonglow index page will open to give you the main page. Click on a link to go to the section that you want and when you are finished with that click on the sidebar links to continue navigating. Lots of pages will load in PDF format so that you can print them up. Video will be in high quality WMV format.

What can you expect? All the goodies that you remember from the printed magazines plus some extra treats that only modern technology can provide. In issue one we will report on a real-life spanking case. My report will include scans of newspaper reports of the case which you can either read on-line or print up. There will be an interview with a spanking actress and some clips of her work, plus an audio interview with a member of the public who will recount her first ever spanking.

The video is going to be first rate. We have a spanking classics section with a full CP video from the very early 1980s. However, Moonglow will also have an hour of  new spanking video just for your delight. Trust me when I say that this magazine is what the spanking fans have been waiting far too long for.

How much will it cost? Would you believe £10.00 if purchased directly from us? That's right, two hours of spanking video, plus any number of features, and all for a tenner:

You lucky punters!

Friday, 24 September 2010

Can spanking ever be considered art?

This short video purports to show spanking as art. Whether it succeeds or not is up to you to decide. I think that the work is arty, but not necessarily art. That is to say it is clever, but it is not fulfilling the basic criteria of any work of art which is to say something to the viewer. "Look at me and see how clever I am," just doesn't cut it for me.

That said the idea is interesting and I found it fascinating that 15% of the women that the artist approached agreed to have their bottoms smacked on camera. Perhaps there is a lesson there for spanking men? Grab a camera and tell the little darling that it is all in the name of art.

Wednesday, 22 September 2010

A spanking for Dorothy

I didn't go out with Dorothy for very long in the early 1980s. I was waiting to go up to Oxford as a mature student and she was a primary school teacher who had just been offered a new job in another part of the country. We enjoyed each others company, but we both knew that our time together was going to end sooner rather than later.

Dorothy was in her very late 20s in the early spring of 1983. We were sitting in her house watching television one evening when she became playful, but in an irritating sort of way. Quite how things got out of control has long since faded from memory, but I can remember that she started to throw cushions at me, and then held one up in front of my face to obscure my view of the TV set.

I told her to behave, but she took no notice, so I repeated the instruction with a threat to spank her if she didn't do as she was told. As I said that I began to eye her up to see how any correction would have to be administered. She was a small girl, only about five feet tall and wore a dress size ten, so there was unlikely to be much of a battle royal getting her over my knee. The black trousers could have presented a problem but I knew from past experience that they fastened with a simple button and zip combination, so it was really just going to be about standing her up, baring her bottom and putting her in position. I sat back and waited to see if Dorothy would do as she had been bidden, and was not in the least bit surprised to see that she carried on giggling, throwing cushions and generally behaving like a pain.

There was really only one thing to do, wasn't there? I stood up and hauled Dorothy to her feet. Ignoring her protests I undid the button on her trousers and unzipped them. Quickly I spun the wretched girl around so that her back was towards me and I yanked both trousers and panties don to her knees. Spinning her around again I sat down and pulled her across my left knee. My right leg was cocked over both her thighs and her wrists folded into the small of her back. It was the work of less than a minute to get her fully prepared for the spanking that was then about to be delivered.

I did not administer a very sound correction, contenting myself instead with twelve or so firm smacks, given first on one cheek and then the other. Dorothy gasped and whimpered as each one landed with its tell-tale crack across her twitching bottom, but other than that she was lay quietly until I brought the spanking to a close and sat her up on my knee.

She sat there quietly with her head resting on my shoulder. She tried to pull up her knickers and trousers but a firm smack put paid to such silly notions. I unzipped my own trousers and took out my cock and placed it in her hand. She stroked it until it became fully hard and then I slid her off my lap and onto her knees. Taking hold of her firmly behind the neck I guided her mouth over the head of my cock.

There was silence in the room that was only broken by my moans of pleasure. Eventually I lifted Dorothy up and placed her face down over the arm of a sofa, her red buttocks on display as a mark of my achievement. Guiding my throbbing cock into her I drove it deep into her body as far as the hilt. I then fucked her with those slow methodical fuck strokes that I do so enjoy delivering. Increasing the speed slowly but surely I eventually lost control and shot myself as deep inside her as I could.

Only then as we untangled ourselves did Dorothy start to speak, telling me quietly how sorry she was for her bad behaviour and promising to be good in future.

On that note we went to bed.
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