Calling all wannabes: here's how it's done!

I am often accused of both sexism and misogyny. The first I plead guilty to, but the second is a nonsense. I don't hate women, I just don't take most of the superficial little darlings all that seriously. However, what I have never done is to try and force any woman to do something that she really didn't want to do, and that point is important since there is a nasty internet rumour going around to the contrary. In fact so strong is this Facebook-based tale that Raven Red was actually warned by at least one person not to spend last month in my house as I do not respect the notion of consensual activity. She ignored the advice and will be back with me next July, but let's nail this load of old wank once and for all, shall we?

Fuck or fuck off has always been my attitude towards the fair sex. I do not go looking for submissive girls to spank, I just seek out females and then spank them. Or rather I wait until they do something particularly inane - it doesn't take long, we are talking about women after all - and then I warn them that a repeat performance will earn them a trip across my knee. At that point madam is more than at liberty to tell me that a smacked bottom is out of the question. In which case my fuck or fuck off rule comes into play and I either throw her out, if we are at my place, or put my coat on and leave if at hers. 

On the other hand, if madam decides that she wants to carry on seeing me, but doesn't fancy the idea of too many smacked bottoms then all she has to do is keep her innate female silliness under some sort of control and she need never find herself staring at a carpet as her knickers are taken down. I don't invent reasons to spank, and if truth be told what I really want is a quiet life.

Where did this nasty rumour about me come from? Probably from within the ranks of the hand shandyists who are only socially-conservative behind a computer monitor. At all other times they are pussy-whipped wannabes who find it hard to keep Mrs Hand and her five daughters in line, never mind a real live woman.