Friday, 4 March 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Taylor

Say hello to Taylor, the nom de guerre of a 26 year old Florida girl who wants to get her own back on her ex-boyfriend by selling his clothes off on eBay. Actually, there is a bit more to it than that as Taylor is modelling the clothes in poses that leave little to the imagination since she shows just about everything but her face and then  gloats about what she is doing all over the web.

This silly little girl needs her bottom smacking for two reasons:

Firstly, she assumes that her ex-boyfriend will be embarrassed, or ashamed, of her poses. Actually what he will do is tell all and sundry to take a look at what he used to fuck. "See that arse? I looked at that whilst I was riveting  her doggie-style," is what he will say, with a nudge and a wink as someone gets him another beer. For knowing nothing about blokes and how we are wired up, this girl deserves a paddling at least.

Secondly, she is assuming that everyone will work to the script that she has written, but that is not going to happen. The media are quite happy to build her up, but once the story starts to sag then they will give it a boost by running a photo of her face and giving her full name and address. That's all anyone needs because the rest of her has already been posted. Of course the ex could always release a facial shot himself - or maybe that video they made together that shows him slipping her a length? Surely all this should have been obvious to anyone who doesn't  have a bra size larger than her IQ? Well that obviously excludes Taylor, doesn't it?

For both those reasons Uncle Nick is therefore pleased to award this first ever Order of the Burning Buttocks to Taylor, the foolish Floridian slapper:

Come here little girl: you know that you deserve this!

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