Tuesday, 24 May 2011

On my spanking philosophy

I have had some nice praise from Karl Friedrich Gauss over at Chross' forum, so I want to spend a moment thanking him for that. He did seem to think that I was only able to meet women for spanking in Mexico where, "women were perhaps more used to that sort of treatment" than in the UK. It is a nice theory, but I have never had any problems finding women in either the UK or Mexico, so let me dedicate tonight's posting to explaining why that is the case.

First, I want to lay out again my basic philosophy of spanking life. I do not go looking for girls to spank, I go looking for girls and then I spank them. When madam does something particularly inane, which being female rarely takes long, then I tell her to behave and warn her that a repeat performance will earn her a trip across my knee. At that point madam if perfectly at liberty to tell me that she will not accept that and many have. Trust me when I say that in those cases I sincerely hope that the door does not bang her arse as she flounces through it on her way out of my life.

So the rule is fuck or fuck off, but to leave it at that would be to leave you with only half the story. How did I meet the women that I ended up spanking? Am I this James Bond figure that woman fall over? Hardly, I am basically a working class bloke from Manchester who worked throughout my twenties and did not go to university until I was pushing thirty. My secret is a thick skin and the fact that I worked as a cinema projectionist!

Working in the cinemas meant that I did not have to get up very early and thus I could stay out late every night, which is what I did. I would prowl the Manchester nightspots every single night hunting pussy. When I found a likely looking girl we would have a fling that lasted on average about five weeks and then I would start my hunting all over again. I reckon that I had about four or so flings a year and if you add to that the one night stands, and leg overs in the back of the car, then we are talking about around a dozen women a year who had their pussies stretched by me during my twenties.

However, and here is the important point, there were about another three or four dozen every year that I went out with once or twice and who never became my lovers, and who were never spanked by me. Not only that but many of the lovers never had their bottoms smacked, either because they were casual fucks or because they did as they were told and I never had to smack their bottoms.

I used to carry a little tin of vapour rub in my pocket to smear on my top lip if the female I was with was a bit rank in the body odour department... Many is the time that if I went out with one particular guy and one of us would suddenly become weary and the other would clap him on the shoulder and say "Come on, you are not hear to enjoy yourself: you are here for a leg-over!" With that the weary one would get up and start to prowl the disco one more time. Come on, fellas, you know as well as I do that you don't have to like a woman to fuck her: what we are after is a nice tight pussy. It is just that I took the hunt to fairly extreme lengths, and that is why my tally is so high.

In Mexico it is true that I was popular amongst the brown-skinned bangers because I was a white Englishman and that made me very exotic. It is also true that Mexican women are only too happy to progress horizontally and I managed to grab quite a few students that way. What that actually meant was that I probably spanked less women in Mexico than I had in England because the women over there are actually rather nice and obedient. Let's face it, if a woman does as she is told and only opens her mouth to put your cock in it, would you be so nasty to her as to deprive her of the ability to sit down for the rest of the day? Perish the thought!

A very good friend of mine who I have told you about is called Svetlana and she once said to me that women are for sex and men are to be used. Now come on, men, what's the content of a wallet or two if the pussy is nice and tight? That is the way that I was and to a great extent still am. If women want me to spend time and money on them then they will accept the basic rule which is that I have the last word.

If they break that rule then they get spanked. Or they fuck off. One of the two.


Anonymous said...

Potty the poor lady who mixes with this twat

Anonymous said...

Or even pitty the girl

Uncle Nick said...

My first reaction on seeing these two remarks was to congratulate the second commentator on his drollery in taking the piss out of the first, semi-literate, webmong and his old wank. Then Raven Red came along and said that she reckoned that both offerings were by the same man.

So I checked my statporn and saw that she was right. Two comments by one webmong with an ISP that starts 86.153... Want me to go on? Want your full name and address posting? Provoke me you pussy whipped little cur and see what I can do.

Not that you will. What you will do is go along to my clips's store and get yourself something nice to wank over and whilst Mrs Hand and her five daughters are going to work you will imagine that you are a man.

Even though deep down in side you know that you aren't, don't you?

Anonymous said...

What made Raven Red think that it is the same man?

Raven Red said...

I get paid a good salary in real life to identify trends - especially the smaller ones that normally will go unnoticed.
Therefore - in both attempts to write pity, the person used double "t".
Balance of propability? Same person. When Uncle Nick checked the IP address - it was confirmed.

Uncle Nick said...

When I saw the first two comments I honestly thought that the second one was a piss take of the first and that the second comment deliberately misspelled the word "pity" as part of that.

Raven came along and said very firmly that it was the same person, probably a man, and that he was checking the blog regularly and had spotted that he had mistyped an "O" for an "I" in the word. So he had come back to correct the error, but he added a double T to the word again. In other words the first was a typo that he corrected, but the second was down to stupidity - the sad-arse little loser thinks that "pity" comes with two Ts.

Now, Raven reached that conclusion within about ten seconds of seeing the comments. I then spend about 15 minutes searching through the hits and sure enough the same ISP came up at the time the two comments were made.

She was right!

Anonymous said...

What he wrote was not very nice, but you really went to town on him. Aren't you worried that you might lose readers that way?

Uncle Nick said...

If this wazzock had just wandered in and made a thoughtful criticism then I would have replied properly. He thought that a one-liner was sufficient and that is why I tore him a new arsehole. The fact that the rancid little maggot has not returned only increases my contempt for him - he should have stood his ground like a man and not run like a dog.

As for hits, this blog now gets over 20,000 a month, so if anything controversies seem to be good for the statporn.

Anonymous said...

Nice restatement of your philosophy, Nick. And you're right about the fact that several of the relationship stories you posted did involve girls from Britain, a country that's presumably as modern as any, although with its tradition of corporal punishment, one could argue it's a bit of a special case.

Still corporal punishment is still going strong down in the American South too, and probably lots of other places, but Britain was the epicentre of it all -- thus the epithet -- "The English Vice".

So just to clarify how that worked out for you, did you find any or many girls who chose to break off the relationship with you rather than accept the spanking you decided they'd earned?

And did you offer them that choice -- to stay and get spanked, or say goodbye to the relationship -- or did you just presume that since they'd stuck around after you'd made the threat, that they were ready to accept a spanking when the time came?

There's a subtle shift in relationship being negotiated there, and your way of doing it does preserve a lot of the deniability of consent which I'm sure girls like. That is, they don't want to be put in a situation of having given explicit permission for you or anyone to paddle their bottom.

I imagine that women would prefer it to seem like they didn't have a choice, because it's more romantic that way, the man is more authentically dominant if HE decides these things.

And yet, she knows she HAD been warned and that she could have put her foot down then and said she wouldn't stand for such treatment. But she didn't.

She kept seeing the man who said he would spank her the next time she did such and such, even if she was never really sure if he was just bluffing.

And when the moment comes, when she's done it again, and he's about to take her over his knee, does she go along with it, or make a fuss and try to put her foot down, at the risk of losing the relationship. That's the kind of mental process I imagine is going on in her pretty little head, as you're about to tip her over your knee and paddle her behind.

Karl Friedrich Gauss

Uncle Nick said...


Sure, as I said in the post, a hell of a lot refused to be spanked and that was the end of that.

What would happen is that most would sort of give that nervous giggle that women have when they are unsure, but many would immediately say no to the very idea. Those were just dumped at once.

The remainder, the gigglers I suppose we could call them, some stopped seeing me on some pretext or other when they realised that I meant what I said, but a fair few carried on just to see what would happen.

I honestly don't think that the country has anything to do with it. What matters is a man's attitude and if he makes it plain from the start that he is in control then sure he will lose a lot of girls, but he will keep a lot as well.

Listen, Karl, send me an e-mail to strictuncle@gmail.com and I will send you my memoirs. They are unpublished as yet, but you may find them interesting.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Nick. I've collected our little discussion here in this Chross forum post


Uncle Nick said...


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