You and your girl are looking for a little change to your bedroom play. Vanilla couples can be afraid of the word “bondage” and don’t understand how it can take your lovemaking to new heights. Start out gradually and work your way up the kink ladder. Be sure to discuss this in detail together first, however, and learn safety techniques before you play.
1. Try something innocent like tying her up with a silk scarf. Make sure you do it lose and keep the atmosphere light. This is a good first step into your new sexual explorations.
2. A blindfold is very sensual, and not too intimidating. Remember 9 ½ Weeks! Use a blindfold and feed your lover different treats, or try out various new sex toys to play with.
3. The next step would be something like comfortable restraints or handcuffs. Pipedreams has a Fetish Fantasy series created for beginning couples—pick up the Master & Servant Set with velvet cuffs. Alternately, Furry Cuffs can be more comfortable and not as assuming.
4. Next you might want to have her dress the part and look like a dominatrix while you let her take the reins. A leather corset and some leather thong underwear is a sexy combo. A latex dress can be pretty damn hot, too.
5. Whips can be exciting, but need to be used properly. The Tickle and Whip are a fun way to start and the best of both worlds. Make sure you take lessons before you can graduate up to a full-fledged whip though.
6. Collars and leashes are sexy and a gentle way for you to dominate her a bit. Lead her around and play puppy. Just make sure the collar isn’t two tight (use the two to three finger rule).
7. Nipple clamps can be fun—but you need to slowly tighten them. Some women have sensitive nipples, but then again that can be a plus.
8. Some guys like classic metal cock rings - they are considered a bondage item. Make sure and measure your cock when it’s erect or just stick to stretchy cockrings. Sometimes, it’s best to buy them in sets, to determine the correct size. The next step up from cock rings are ball spreaders. If you like the scene, you might want to pick one up.
9. Sex harnesses can bind you together and increase the orgasm level on both ends—you can get some great sex positions with one.
10. Ball gags look hot on, but can hurt the jaw. Pick up a beginner ball gag and work your way up some serious headgear.
11. Hoods can be sexy and daunting at the same time. Like blindfolds they remove sight, so are great for sensation play, taking it a bit further by muffling sound as well. And, your partner’s mouth is still available to service you.
12. And if you want to take it to another level, you can try a little electro-sex therapy on her sensitive parts. You control the intensity level and you’ll definitely want to start out low and work your way up. Lots of women (and men) are extremely turned on by these.
Remember to talk about these types of play with your partner before you try them. And, learn as much about bondage before trying some of these toys. We recommend the Bondage for Beginner's Book for more ideas on how to play safely with bondage, and Nina Hartley's Guide to Erotic Bondage DVD.
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