Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Marina, Part Two

Once Marina knew that I was planning to spend New Year 2011 in Mexico she asked for some favours and I arranged to meet her so that I could keep my side of the bargain. I ended up spending a whole day in a government office, not something that I do with a good grace, but I was cheered up by the thought of the fucking that was to follow. I said goodbye to her late that afternoon with a smile on my lips and a tilt in my trousers as I anticipated the ride that was planned for the following week. Alas, it all went vile as Marina had one of those brain farts that women get from time to time, even cynical players like her.

I shall not bore you with too many details of what happened. Marina later claimed that she was shocked by my appearance when I turned up leaning on a walking stick, as she had no idea that I had been so ill. On the other hand, Raven her successor claimed that the old Moose was jealous of my new affair with her. Whoever was right, the upshot was that Marina picked a fight with me, dragged Raven into the dispute via e-mail and generally enraged me so much so that I told her that off was where she could fuck from that moment on.

If you think that I am being harsh, then you need to remember that Marina broke the cardinal rule of life with me, and it is a rule that I do not keep secret. Women fuck or they fuck off and by her attitude she chose the second option and that as far as I was concerned was the end of the matter.

Marina could not leave it at that because she needs me more than I need her so in spring 2011 she started trying to worm her way back into my good books by leaving a few agreeable comments on the blog, but she sloped off when I made it plain that I was in no mood to forgive without punishment.

Silence was her next strategy and when I did not get in touch with her, she contacted my in November 2011 to offer her complete, unconditional surrender.

… I am very sorry for what I did. Will you be in Mexico City next month? If so I will accept whatever punishment you choose to give me…

Feeling rather warm and cuddly I mentioned to Raven and then said that maybe I would let the Moose off and just take her for a drink instead. I am sad to have to relate, but Raven burst out laughing at my remark.

I cannot speak for you, but I just hate it when women get like that.

Raven was right, of course, as I did spend the next few pleasant weeks getting the Moose into the correct frame of mind to go across my knee. We chose the 21 December 2011 and I like to think that with each day that passed on the road to that day Marina began to shake more and more and was almost ready to wet herself at the mere thought of what lay in store for her. I would like to report that I had a great deal of sympathy for the poor dear, but sympathy was the last thing on my mind as Retribution Day drew near.

Once I had arrived in Mexico City I wrote to the Moose and reminded her of what lay in store, and I reminded her of why it was going to happen. I also asked her if she understood what had led up to the moment and requested that she give me her full, uncensored feeling on the matter. Her reply, which used her old pet name for me, was thoughtful and clearly showed that she was accepting her fate with as much good grace as she could muster:

Dear Hamster,

I am writing this message as a response to your request. Last year I was very bad because I did not do as I had promised. I was too much in shock after seeing you and as a result, I failed to keep my word. I am deeply sorry for acting in such a way. You did not deserve it.

However, I do deserve to be punished for this action and I am willing to go through this ordeal if that is what you decide. I am sincerely sorry for my behaviour. Thank you for being here and for giving me the chance to make things right.


I want to just pause here for a moment and let you know that this is not my translation, those words are exactly as the Moose wrote them. Not bad for a girl who speaks English as her second language, what do you think? Quite how I managed to let this one slip through my fingers is still something that baffles me, by the way.

I replied to her and suggested a time and place for our meeting and the Moose replied accepting both. This was my final text that day:

Good, now think on this: I am going to smack your bottom until it is the colour of a ripe tomato.

The following day I decided to see how the girl was considering her fate so I texted her as follows:

Is the time flying or does it hang heavy in your mind as you ponder tomorrow?

This reply came shortly afterwards:

I am working at the moment, but I have had a headache for several hours now. I think that it is due to tomorrow.

As we headed towards the morrow, I reflected that the lot of the poor Moose was not a happy one. 

Then I burst out laughing.

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