If you are a footballer, B-list actor or crap comedian, there are two ways to avoid having to take out a super injunction at a cost of at least £50,000. The first is to keep your dick in your trousers and do not pay whores to stick dildos up your bum or have them smack your bottom, no matter how naughty you have been. The second is to adopt the fuck it principle which has stood me in good stead for years. Let people say what they want, and let the papers print what they wish. If you do that then it will all blow over in a day or so.
However, if you are unable to keep your prick under control and are determined to waste your money on injunctions, then you are truly fucked in this day and internet age. For the truth will out and the laughter will go on for weeks.
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