Dealing with an Oxford Cowgirl, Part Four

To say I gave Charlotte the spanking of her life is putting it mildly. Within a minute of my fist slap landing it had been followed by about fifty more, each one laid on with all the force of my arm behind it. I can dimly remember that I did smack the wretched girl on alternate cheeks, but that was more instinct and experience than a deliberate act on my part. Frankly I was just to angry to think about niceties which is probably why so many of my smacks landed as high as Charlotte's hip bone or as low as her thighs.

To be fair the girl was wriggling like an eel and that always makes perfectly accurate targeting next to impossible, but my anger was such that I didn't even try to land  smacks in the traditional seat of learning as it were and contented myself with bringing my hand down in a great powerful arc that cracked like a whiplash somewhere near Charlotte's bottom.

Needless to say the recalcitrant young madam was screaming like a scalded cat, in fact she was howling at such a decibel level that I remember thinking that she would waken the dead - or at least the members of my college which probably amounted to the same thing.

I became aware at some point that my arm was aching so I paused my labours for a moment and that was when I realised just how exhausted  I was. My heart was pounding in my rib cage and my mouth was open to take in great gulps of air into my lungs.

Charlotte took the opportunity that the respite gave her to try to break free from my grasp. She managed to free her arms from the skirt that had pretty much enveloped them and threw her right hand behind her to cover her bottom.

"No you bloody well don't," I told her as I took the wrist in my left hand and folded it into the small of her back. "I haven't finished with you yet." Weary though I was, the spanking was not over yet as far as I was concerned.

Charlotte turned to her left so that she could look at me with  wide tear filled eyes that begged for pity. Alas pity was all used up that day and with a deep breath I looked down at those buttocks that I had been correcting for the previous few minutes and without another thought I hooked my fingers into the waistband and peeled that last line of defence down. Charlotte's bottom was now very red and very bare and the act of lowering her knickers gave her the nudge she needed to open her mouth and let rip another banshee howl of outrage and pain.

My hand was raised again and again it fell in its retributive arc to land on Charlotte's helpless buttock. Now I spanked her methodically, aiming my slaps to cover the buttock cheeks that I had now bared and I smacked on and on until the colour changed from a bright to an angry shade of red.

As the spanking progressed Charlotte's behaviour went from the anger that had displayed earlier in the correction to to the hysteria that had then characterised her screams to a kind of sullen acceptance. Her struggles didn't cease exactly but they were reduced in intensity and instead of wriggling her hips to escape the force of my retribution she then began to do nothing more than simply twitch her buttock cheeks as each smack landed, and I noticed that the arm that I held in my iron grip was not being pulled one way and the other as its owner tried to break it free. The ending of that was proof that all the sauce  had been smacked out of Charlotte as all she did was lie across my knee, submissively awaiting my will.

With a final flurry of smacks I dumped her onto the floor where she lay in a foetal huddle, her hands behind her as she nursed her well smacked bottom. I sat quietly for a moment as my breathing returned to normal, and then I got to my feet.

"Listen to me you nasty little bitch," I told her between clenched teeth. "I am off to have a nice long piss and when I get back you will no doubt have fucked off somewhere far away from me."

I actually did more than that. I stood on the roof and smoked a cigarette to give Charlotte all the time she needed to collect her thoughts, pull up her knickers and clear off. However, when I went back to my room after my five minute absence it was to find Charlotte standing by my table. She had obviously pulled up her panties and was leaning against the table as her legs were clearly unsteady. She looked at me with eyes that were damp with her tears and filled with uncertainty. That said, there was no insolence left in them, so I was moved to be generous.

"I didn't expect to see you again," I said quietly.

"Just about to leave," Charlotte said, with a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Do you want a cuddle before you go?"

Charlotte didn't reply; she just held out her arms and as I stepped forward she wrapped them around my neck and began to sob heavily with her face buried in my chest. I held her and waited until the sobs slowly died down and then Charlotte looked up at me. She struggled to find the words, her lips moving silently as she struggled to form them.

"I am sorry," she said eventually, with a quiet sincerity.

There was really nothing more to say so I just took her in my arms and eventually we went back to bed.

Charlotte and I had a fling that lasted for some time after the events that I have just described but to be honest I just couldn't afford to keep her. She wanted to go skiing during the Christmas vacation and I could not afford two weeks in Switzerland, so we drifted apart. Many years later I bumped into her in London as the sleek, well cared for mother of two rather cute children. We had a coffee and chatted about what had happened during the previous decade or so since our Oxford days. At one point Charlotte complained about something that her husband had done so I teased her saying that she should slap him.

"I can't do that," the lovely lady replied. Look what happened to me last time!"

Julia's Training

Julia's Training was one of the most talked about girl on girl videos from the pre-1985 period. It had everything that the aficionado of such action could want. A genuine dominatrix who really looked the part, a seriously submissive girl who just needed to be thrashed, and a willingness on everyone's part to make this a video to remember.

Here it is for you to savour again: your cock is telling you to click this link!

TV Spankings: Weeds

I can't believe that I have never run this clip up to now since it is arguably one of the most famous spanking scenes of recent years. Mary-Louise Parker plays Nancy, a woman seeking to break into the U.S.-Mexico cross border drugs trade. Sit back and enjoy the spanking she gets when she becomes lippy with a drug lord.

Dealing with an Oxford Cowgirl, Part Three

"You lied to me, didn't you, you shit? Go on, admit it," she spat at me.

I must admit that there is something incredibly erotic about a woman on her high horse. It's the way she breathes in deeply so as to shout more makes her puppies moves sensuously under her clothes. The way that the eyes glitter always reminds me of how they shine when a woman is on her back being fucked, and the mouth that has been opened to complain also opens wide like that to take in a nice juicy cock. Yes, there is something very potent about an angry woman.

Not that a fellow must allow her to go too far out of control, but sometimes it happens and then the filly needs to feel the bit as she is reigned in, but I never expected to have to do that to Charlotte on that day - more fool me for trying to analyse what passes for the thought processes in the female mind.

Charlotte stood in front of me with hands on hips, tapping a foot as she impatiently waited for my answer.

"What do you want me to say?" I was trying as hard as I could to think of anything that could have done that would have set her off in that way, but my mind was a complete blank. For once I was not guilty of the charge, members of the jury.

You said that you belonged to Ruskin College, didn't you? And you lied, didn't you? You're a complete shit!"

"This is Ruskin College," told her patiently.

"No, it isn't!" Charlotte stamped her foot in frustration. "This is somewhere else, somewhere horrid. If this is the Ruskin, where's all the art work?"

Lights suddenly began to come on inside my head. The silly bitch had confused institutions.

"You are not in The Ruskin, the Ruskin School of Fine Art, but you are in Ruskin College. Same man, different aspects of him," I explained, grinning from ear to ear at Charlotte's silliness.

"What? Well, it's still all your fault for not telling me..." Charlotte's voice trailed off as even she realised the idiocy of what she was saying. Not that logic and reason is something that women trouble themselves with over much, especially when they are feeling embarrassed by their latest bout of female silliness.

"Listen, you barmy bitch," I said, sweet reason evident in my tone. "It isn't my fault that you have a bra size larger than you IQ and can't tell the difference between..."

That was as far as I got because Charlotte's hand flashed out of nowhere and cracked across my face! Trust me when I say I couldn't believe what had just happened. Nor could I believe it when I looked up and saw Charlotte's back retreating towards the door at the end of the corridor.

There are times when I am retarded, I really am, and that was one of those times. I stood  open mouthed  and nursing my smarting cheek as Charlotte exited stiffly towards that door. As she yanked it open my brain kicked into gear and I sprinted down the corridor and grabbed her by a handful of hair and then I just dragged her back to the door to my room. Mine was the last door on the corridor and as we reached it I just pushed Charlotte with all my strength against the wall that ended to corridor and fished my key out of a pocket and quickly opened the door. Then it was a simple matter to almost throw Charlotte inside and slam the door shut behind us. Hands on hips I faced the wretched girl who took a step back a look of pretty total terror on her face as she realised that shit was most definitely about the happen to her.

"Please," she began, lifting her hands in a gesture of supplication. "Please let's talk and..."

That was as far as she got. I just walked the two paces over to her, grabbed her by the hair again and sat down on the bed, pulling Charlotte over my knee as I did so. She was wearing a blue corduroy A-line skirt that came down to her knees and I gathered the hem in both hands and pulled it right over her waist and left it dangling over her head. I encircled her waist with my left arm and looked down at the target area that was encased in white cotton panties.

No, I cannot remember exactly what they were like as I was beyond normal anger and had entered a world of utter fury, one where only retribution mattered. Without pausing to lower the panties I raised my right arm and brought it down in the first retributive smack of what was going to be a highly memorable spanking.

Click to continue.

Uncle John Smacks Hard

What does Uncle John do when his niece doesn't toe the line? Why he puts her across his knee, raises her skirt and then complete ignoring her howls of protest he smacks her bare bottom very hard indeed.

Uncle John Smacks Hard - another classic clip that your cock is telling you to download!

Are Obama and Sarkozy bottom fanciers?

Here's my thought for the day - are Obama and Sarkozy bottom men? Check out the video evidence for yourselves.

Dealing with an Oxford Cowgirl, Part Two

As my cock slid easily into Charlotte's body she raised her legs instinctively to take me inside her and wrapped her arms around my neck. She exhaled slowly, her hot breath flowing over my neck and then she sank her teeth into my shoulder. I groaned at the pain but I hoped that she wouldn't stop as it hurt so good. She thrust her hips down in time with each of my strokes, clenching her pussy muscles as she did so. Slowly but surely she increased the speed of her thrusts forcing me to increase my tempo to keep up with her. She stopped biting me and I could look into her face to see an expression of pure joy there, she pursed her lips, and her face took on an intensity that I found delightful.

"Fuck me, fuck me harder," she whispered in my ear, urging me on.

My balls began to get heavy and I could feel that the lock gates that control the canal that runs from them up to the outside were about to open. I had to take control of this girl and the lovemaking otherwise that wonderful evening was going to end before it had properly begun. I grabbed Charlotte's wrists and put them above her head on the pillow, to hold them firmly in my hands. Once she was controlled then I lifted myself up on my arms to give myself a deeper penetration but also so that I could slow down the speed of my thrusts. 

"No, no, I want it faster. Can't you go any faster?"

"I do the fucking," I told her with a grin on my face. "You get fucked in my time."

"I hate you!"

She rather spoiled the effect of her words by grinning from ear to ear as my cock opened her body up every time it drove deep inside her. She tried to free herself from my grip, first one wrist and then the other, and when that failed she lay back and looked at me with a lascivious intensity. Then she closed her eyes and opened her mouth to let out little cries of the pleasure-pain that woman make when they are being fucked to their intense and total satisfaction.

I increased my speed and at some point I let go of Charlotte's wrists whereupon she immediately threw her arms around my neck and hauled me back on top of her, both our torsos becoming glued together and her arms held me in position. I used my hips the thrust into her and Charlotte used hers to increase the pace of the lovemaking until I lost all sense of anything other than her cries in my ear and the incredible sensation that comes from being between the legs of a lovely teenage girl and having her completely.

It was no use, the pace just had to pick up as urged on by Charlotte I increased the velocity to a killing level. Her head rocked insanely from side to side and she let out a scream that came from deep within her as I felt my balls grow heavy and  right at the base of my cock the first lock gate opened to allow the heavy juice that my balls had contained to begin its journey to freedom.

"I can't hold it," I said between gritted teeth.

"Don't hold it, give it to me! Give it to me now! Fill me up with it!"

All my muscles relaxed as if to order. The hot foaming juice shot up and I felt that incredible sensation that is part pain and part release as my juice shot out of me and into Charlotte's gaping, eager body. 

We collapsed into each other's arms. The was nothing else to do and nothing that needed to be said. Charlotte wrapped an arm lazily around my neck and we fell asleep like two babes, totally sated by the pleasure that we had given to each other.

Charlotte was the first to wake up as dawn light was filtering into my room. I remember that she kissed me lightly and started to get up.

"I have to go," she said, "we start at nine."

I knew that the Oxford Cowgirls started classes as that unearthly hour so I just nodded. Charlotte got dressed, kissed me goodbye and promised to return later that day. I turned over and went back to sleep as she left the room.

Once the streets had got thoroughly aired I left college and wandered into the Oxford Union for morning coffee and a leisurely read of the newspapers. I stayed there until the bar opened at 11.00am and when it closed again at 3.00pm as all bars did in those days, it seemed a shame to go back to college, so I hung around waiting for afternoon tea to begin. At some point in the late afternoon I finally decided to go back to college to check my pigeon-hole for mail, and I remember wandering through Oxford wondering if I could put off the essay that I had to write until the following morning. I decided that I could as my tutorial wasn't until the afternoon, and with that in mind I decided to go up to my room and read a couple of chapters of one of the books, just to show willing as it were.

I climbed the stairs and opend the door at the top that led to my very short corridor. There, waiting outside my door, was Charlotte, with a face like thunder.

"You shit! You utter and complete shit! You duped me!

"No I didn't," I replied. "What I did was fuck you!" At times like this a laugh and a joke can often diffuse a bad situation, but my little bon mot fell on deaf ears as Charlotte descended upon me, eyes flashing and boobs heaving. 

Click to continue

A spanking embarrassment

Here's a lesson in the need to engage brain before opening mouth. What I find funny about it isn't just the embarrassment on the girl's face, but the  reaction of the guy. No bets are being taken on what he fantasies about. Maybe he wants some videos?

Cheers: Raven Red

Dealing with an Oxford Cowgirl, Part One

The Oxford and County Secretarial College, to give it the full name that nobody ever used, was always known as the Ox and Cow and it provided generations of Oxford men with easy pokes. In theory it was all about turning home counties gels into secretaries, but in practise it was a glorified marriage agency for the terminally thick. As a student in the early 1980s I did my bit to ensure that any Oxford Cowgirl who came within reach of my paws was given a thorough training in the horizontal arts - not that many of them needed all that much training since they could perform tricks that a Liverpool whore would blush at, but I am sure that you take my point.

Charlotte was one such cowgirl. Just eighteen years old when I knew her, she had long brown hair that fell in delicious waves to the middle of her back, breasts that were eye-poppers and one A-level in English. That latter achievement was the reason why her father agreed to pay the Ox & Cow's ludicrously high fees because in those days nobody ever thought that the likes of Charlotte even needed to go into higher education so off they went to become secretaries and husband hunt an executive.

You are not really interested in knowing how we met are you? I thought not - as you can tell I am starting to get to know you - so I will just tell you that it was at a party and the next day we met up for afternoon tea in Browns, of course, and one thing led to another and we ended up in the Bird and Baby in the early evening.

Charlotte kept going on about the Pre-Raphaelites, and at first I just assumed that she had done a half hour art appreciation course at the Ox & Cow, but then I realised that the little darling had dropped a serious clanger as far as I was concerned. She thought that I was a student at the John Ruskin School of Art, whereas in fact I was a member of Ruskin College.

Obviously I didn't want to overtax her poor little mind by trying to explain why Oxford has two colleges named after the same fellow, besides I was more interested in getting her knickers down. That I duly did once I had got her back to my room in college with a minimum of fuss and a maximum of squealing. Charlotte's dress soon followed her frillies as did her matching bra - in case you are wondering the set was cream with light blue polka dots, what a good memory I have that I can remember these things after so many years.

Having completed the preliminaries I grabbed a good handful of bouncer and proceeded on my merry way down below. The moment my tongue had parted her labia the little darling let out a yell that I was sure had woken the dead or at least the members of my college which probably amounted to the same thing. Not being a man easily put off his stride I turned my head to the right so that my lips ran parallel with hers, as it were, and then I just let my tongue enter her body before moving it up and down in a side to side motion. I will never forget that she bucked like a bronco and grabbed my hair as if she wanted to prevent me from leaving her pussy lips - as if I wanted to.

Eventually I moved back up above and Charlotte took the opportunity to grab hold of my cock and began to give it a vigorous pulling.

"Careful you don't fire it by accident," I told her.

"What do you mean? I told you that these girls were not very bright, didn't I? Anyway I explained it all to her and she began to giggle. 

"Gosh - me doing that with my hand. Sounds wonderful!"

Clearly the only way to shut Charlotte up was to fuck her, or so I thought, so I climbed into the saddle and began to ride my chosen filly.

Click for part two.

Can a girl ever be too big to spank?

Back in January of this year the blogger Sexualle wondered if some girls weren't too tall  for spanking videos. She had the six footer Amelia Jane Rutherford in mind and the post led to a couple of British based rent-a-gobs complaining that Sexuelle had basically no right to argue against the use of tall actresses. Presumably they think that girls should be picked in alphabetical order, irrespective of how tall, short or dog rough they are?

For the record, when I was working in Mexico I never used any girl from the local scene. Partly that was because they were so damned expensive, but also in the back of my mind was the notion that I really have little interest in having debates of this kind with mouthy prima donnas. I prefer to use vanilla girls who are only interested in the money. They are much easier to work with.

A smacker on the Turl

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Does anybody recognise this spanking photo?

 

Does anybody know anything about this photo? It looks like London to me, so maybe the Notting Hill Carnival?  Thoughts in the comment box please.

The story behind a Janus photo shoot

The beauty of the web is the way in which all sorts of things suddenly appear when you least expect them. Take these photos, part of a photo shoot for an edition of Janus which you can see here. Coming across these photos from the early 1980s on Richard Windsor's blog reminded me of the story behind the shoot, and what a story it is.

Many of the spanking magazines of the time faked their spankings, but not Janus. The model in this shoot had worked for Roué and asked its editor what he thought of the offer that Janus had made to her for a shoot? The girl had pound signs in her eyes, but the editor reminded her that the discipline would be real so she needed to be careful as she had never even been spanked by her father growing up.

The girl ignored the advice and did the shoot. By all accounts she became very distressed on more than one occasion as you can see in the photo below:

However, incidents like that were just added to the plot to increase the reader's delight.

Do you want to know the really charming bit about this story? To pay the girls their enormous fees, Janus used to allow selected visitors to pay to watch the shoots. On this occasion someone overdid it and it wasn't just mates who were on set but mates of mates. And mates of their mates. The girl became seriously intimidated by the heavy atmosphere, but the guys were added to the storyline as well. Someone came up with the idea of standing her on a landing and then letting all the men walk down  the stairs past her, feasting their eyes on her discomfort...

Say what you like about their methods, the Janus crew captured a very powerful set of photos that day.

Thought for the day: should this girl have been caned?

Is it just me or do others feel that the saucy young madam  wearing the tights and black knee socks really does need to be taken in hand as these other girls are? As for the other one, who is giving the two fingered salute, holding the sign whilst hiding behind it, she really should have been forced to make the long walk to the head's study.

The photo is from 1970 and shows a demonstration mounted by some London schoolgirls against the use of the cane by the way.

Cinema Spankings: The Perils of Mandy

If you ever wondered why the British film industry died a death then producing crap like the Perils of Mandy almost certainly had something to do with it. Made in 1980s with wooden actresses far too old to play schoolgirls, a budget that did not allow for retakes and a cameraman who didn't bother to disguise the fact that the cane strokes are flying nowhere near the girl's bottom, this rubbish sank deservedly without trace over thirty years ago.

Keeping it in the spanking family!

The trade for some reason has often attracted family units. I can think of a mother and daughter combination who still operate out of Liverpool and a father and daughter team who were around a few years ago.

That said, I can think of only one husband, wife and daughter outfit and they operated during the golden age of British CP video making. The husband and wife appeared together in such videos as College Classics 5, and the husband then appeared alone in the likes of Conduct Unbecoming.

To the best of my knowledge the daughter never made any videos, but she did work in Janus and other magazines under the name Pippa.

If anybody has any more information about this curious threesome, please leave a comment in the box. In the meantime both College Classics 5 and Conduct Unbecoming are available for immediate download right now.

Your cock is telling you to click this link!

Le Monde de la Fessée: a new blog on my roll!

I would like to welcome Le Monde de la Fessée to my links' list. The site is a mine of information and often contains some pretty decent video clips which I have plundered shamelessly. The owner ran one of my videos back in 2008 and wondered in his posting if it was authentic or just another fake? I wrote to him the other day and reassured him that Marina - for it was her on the receiving end - had been a very naughty girl indeed and that the spanking was real.

The blog is often overlooked by English speakers because it runs in French, but even you do not have that language it is well worth a visit and then a struggle with the translation software. Believe me Le Monde de la Fessée is a real gem!

The Story Behind Victoria's Spanking, Part Two

Continuing on from part one of this tale, I obviously did not wish to be defeated  in my hunt for Mexican spanking actresses, so I then hit the seedy bars where the ficheras are to be found. Most Mexican cantinas have these girls and their job is to get the men to buy drinks. Every time someone buys the girl a glass she gets a token, a ficha, which she exchanges for cash at the end of the night. These ficheras will hold your hand, and if you pay them extra they will hold any other part of your anatomy that you fancy, and it really was just a matter of finding one who would agree to go across my knee, I figured.

To be honest it was as easy as falling off a log, and I kicked myself for not thinking of that earlier. The first bar I went into I met Victoria and when I explained the deal to her she agreed with alacrity. I think that I paid her $50 for the shoot and I agreed that she would get lunch afterwards at my expense. At first she was dubious because she thought that I planned to give her a kicking or punch her face, but when I explained the deal totally to her she burst into a big grin.

"So, you'll just hit my bottom with your hand?"

"Yes, that's all there is too it. I'll meet you and we'll drive to a hotel. The shoot will take an hour and then we can have lunch. From leaving here to getting back, allow three hours all told," I explained.

Victoria was seriously impressed with this and wanted to do the shoot that day, but I told her that her ropa de puta was not acceptable, so tomorrow could she please wear something that a secretary might use to go to work in?

As you can see in the video she did me proud. I used a tripod and shot the whole spanking from one angle. Then I let Victoria up and changed the camera angle so that the lens was pointing at her face. Back across my knee she went and the facial expressions were then grabbed as my hand cracked across her bottom. The only problem was that there was no air-conditioning in the hotel that I used and it became damned hot under the video lights and I began to wilt as you can tell if you watch the video closely.

Once the video had been shot I took some stills, and the full set of those you can see at this link. I must say I do find the one on the left very agreeable indeed. It's the combination of my handiwork with a glimpse of Victoria's pussy lips that I find so very appealing.

On the subject of pussy, after taking the still I started to pack all my gear away when I turned around I found that Victoria had stripped herself naked and climbed into bed. What can I say? She just automatically expected that for that kind of money I would expect to fuck her as well. I was tempted to tell her to forget it, but I am an Englishman after all and one doesn't want the natives thinking that we are unable to rise to the occasion, so I scrambled into bed with her and slipped her a length.

Rather a good day's work when you come to think about it and all for less than fifty quid all told!

The story behind Victoria's Spanking, Part One

I posted this video in June of last year, but you can never have too much of a good thing, can you? Besides it gives me a chance to tell you the story of how it came to be made in 2003.

There was no market for clips in those days to speak of as everybody bought full length videos. For technical reasons I could not shoot a 50 minute epic,  I just could not find the technicians, the cameraman, lighting and sound fellows, who would be needed for such a shoot. Needless to say I did not have the equipment so that would have to have been hired, all that cost then being lost if the Mexican girls that had been hired decided to stay at home that day. A scenario not unheard of in England and one very common in Mexico.

I thought that maybe a one hour disk would sell so I set out to find the two or three girls who would be needed to make it. The plan was to shoot clips in Spanish and then put them all together into one compilation disk. Since I would just be working with one girl at a time the technical problems would be less as I could operate the camera myself for a short clip. Anyway, full of enthusiasm for the new project I set out to get the ball rolling and that was when the dead hand of Mexican inertia kicked in and  nothing got started.

The main problem that I had was with the putative actresses. I first got in touch with girls in the Mexican scene and quickly realised that the reason why they are in the scene, as opposed to bringing up a platoon of children like 99 percent of Mexican women do, is that they were wealthy. The internet is a wealthy person's toy in Mexico and a few dollars here and there was no big deal to the type of girl who went to Paris to buy her handbags, for instance.

So I hit the agencies where the American porn companies find their models, the girls you see in the  anonymous stock footage. A lot of that is shot in Mexico because the girls are cheaper to hire than they are in the USA, so I figured that if they will spend a day getting fucked for around fifty quid then they would jump at the chance of a spanking for a ton, right? 

Wrong! Every girl I spoke to explained that it was one thing getting her pussy stretched or her bum hole widened for $100 or so a day, but a spanking sounded like hard work to them, and the fee that they angled for was ludicrously high. Besides, as one girl pointed out, she could always hit the bars after work and pick up a tourist if she was short of cash that week, so why bust a gut with me?

It was looking as if my career as a Mexican pornographer was going to end before it had begun.

To be continued.

The day Frank spanked her ladyship

Good fun though videos are, they have nothing when compared to a real account of an authentic spanking, well laid on. Back in 1964 the magnificently named Frank Klingenspor, 61, then head gardener on the Portman estate, decided that he had had quite enough of Lady Portman's interference with the greenhouse, so as Frank later admitted:

"I soundly smacked her bottom. She may have had cuts and bruises," this sturdy son of England explained, "but it wasn't malicious on my part."

Lord Portman didn't agree and sacked Frank for disciplining the 47 year old Lady Portman, and Frank was later fined £30 for his troubles, but at least United Press international and the Press Association both had stringers to cover the case which is how come it ended up in these Canadian newspapers, reproduced here.

Rest in peace, Frank Klingenspor, and well done, sir. Well done indeed!

Cheers: MarQe's Study