Miss Pippa Middleton: a grovelling apology

We At Urzdown Hall wish to humbly apologise to Miss Pippa Middleton for any distress that out perving posts made have caused her. In our own defence we could argue that the owner of a ripe, luscious, totally smackable read end such as Pippa's should need a license before that rump is taken out on the public  highway, but we accept that this might be a bit impracticable.

No, instead we shall do our best to ignore those luscious, seductive, totally banging great hard-on inducing curves from now onwards. Furthermore, never again will we sit in pubs discussing how great it would be to have Pippa tear streaked and humbled, bend over a table with her sore, swollen freshly smacked bottom on display as we lower our trousers to that she can submissively take the throbbing cock that is about to enter her body.

Further references to Her Royal Hotness and suchlike will not be made, and never again will gentlemen of this blog be invited to consider the day when a wedding turned into a porn show for millions of happy chappies all across the planet:

As a mark of our good faith, and to show what all round good eggs we are, we are offering you the chance to go and buy Pippa's party book, excitingly entitled Celebrate, just in time for Christmas:

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Miss Pippa Middleton Again!

Chaps, I just have to give up some valuable drinking time to award yet another Order of the Burning Buttocks to the ever lovely Miss Pippa Middleton.

If she isn't walking around in a schoolgirl skirt, then she is providing us with all too infrequent glimpses of her pert, made to smack rear end. It reminds us once again of how we switched on the royal wedding, having nothing else to do that day, and were treated to a free porn video instead.

Pippa, on behalf of the gentlemen of England may I say that every time we look at you something starts running down our legs and we don't think that it's sweat.

Now come here, young lady: you know that you deserve this!

The Pippa Middleton Attraction

Conversation overheard at a breakfast table near you:

"Henry, the Telegraph's reporting something about that Pippa person that you like. Seems she's written a book. I wish I could understand all the fuss."

"Really? Pass the toast, Amelia."

"Yes... So what's the attraction?"

"Well, m'dear,  Katie is the quintessentially good girl that everyone likes, in a head prefect sort of way, but Pippa... Well, she's the naughty little minx that we all want to take in hand. I was saying to George at the club just the other night, that she was not too old, and all the chaps sort of nodded."

"Really, Henry?"

Yes, pass the marmalade, Amelia."

Kate & Pippa Middleton: Tit Contest

Okay, folks, it's pretty obvious that this is an attempt to boost the old stat porn, but so long as we are all happy with that...

Which Middleton girl has the nicer tits, Kate at the top or Pippa down below?

I must be honest and say that the pair of 'em have pairs that are a bit on the small side. If like me you enjoy grabbing a bouncer in each hand, sticking your head between 'em and saying "Brrrrrrr," then you are going to be disappointed with those knockers.

On the other hand there is enough for the rider to grab hold of as he spurs his chosen filly down the final furlong to glory.

Waity Katie, or Perky Pippa - which one carries the set for you?

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Pippa's Posterior Bare?

Is this really Pippa Middleton, admiring her own pert posterior in that dress? The photo plopped into my in-box this morning with an assurance that it is.

Dear old Uncle Nick has his doubts, but the fuck it principle applies at times that this. So settle back and put your doubts to one side as you stroke one off, all courtesy of your favourite blog.

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Pippa Middleton Yet Again!

What can we say about Pippa Middleon that hasn't already been said a thousand times already? Here she is in a nice but pretty boring pose on the left, but look below and see her in all her provocative glory.

Pippa you are a saucy young madam. Now come here: you know that you deserve this!

Telegraph Censors "Commando" Pippa!

 

I cannot believe this! The Daily Telegraph gave its perving punters a report on Pippa Middleton's alleged commando moment at the London Fashion Week and then they decide to pull the piece. The story was ridiculous, as I demonstrated when I found the photo and ran it here - that's it reposted on the left. As you can see, perky Pippy is wearing her nicks like a good girl should and I pointed that out in the comment section to the piece and then sat back whilst the hit counter went through the roof. For two hours the hits just flooded in and then the story was culled and my dreams of a record breaking day died. 

Not to worry, as just to show all my new readers what a nice fellow I am, giving up my weekend with no thought of reward and all that, at the top of the post is yet another shot of Pippa flashing her gash for your perving pleasure, and on the right and below we have a very nice shot of Kate giving us a leer at her backside, rather fetchingly clad in yellow knickers. Don't ask me who the bald cove is walking with her.

Was Pippa Pantyless at London Fashion Week?

Was luscious Pippa Middleton pantyless when she took her front row seat during London Fashion Week? This is the question that the Daily Telegraph is asking and kindly old Uncle Nick went off and tracked down the photo which is alleged to show commando Pippa in action.

Hmm, looks like she is wearing panties to me. Damned shame because the rumours surrounding her previous knickerless state were impossible to ignore, so we were hoping for something more than a flash of white cotton.

Better luck next time!

Pippa Middleton's new nickname is Commando

Did Pippa Middleton go commando on royal wedding day? The men may have been perving over Pippa's posterior, but the women were asking why there was no visible panties' line under her dress? Could the answer be that the hussy was shameless enough to strut her stuff knickerless down the aisle?

The fact that Prince Harry is reported to have nicknamed her "commando" may be a clue to the mystery of Pippa's underwear status on the big day!

Pippa Middleton to get armoured car?

Pippa Middleton may be about to take delivery of a specially armoured vehicle, presumably to protect her from the army of men who want to smack her lusciously cheeky bottom. Or maybe she is worried that the girlfriends of those men may want to get their hands on her? Let's face it, a lot of girls are getting a wee bit cheesed off with Pippamania  - as the owner of the above car found out to his cost.

How to take a Pippa Middleton upskirt

The Pippa Middleton upskirt photos are now emerging thick and fast, so it's time for kindly old Uncle Nick to give you a quick low down on taking a nice upskirt shot.

Do not get down on your knees in the hope that your victim will not have been taught how to decant herself properly, because if it is the likes of Pippa that you are after then you are wasting your time. Remember that most photographers will be crowded around the outside of the car with the door on their right. You need to position yourself so that you can shoot between the door and its frame, so the actual door is on your left. Your victim will be concentrating on the pack in front of her and not you. Have the camera focussed at about three feet and click away.

And good luck!

Jane Fonda versus Pippa Middleton: who has the finer bum?

Jane Fonda may be 73 but she still carries a nicely rounded and seriously smackable pair of buttocks on her. As of course does the lovely Pippa Middleton about whom we have spoken many times over the past couple of weeks.

So, gentlemen, who has the finest rump? Here they are, both arrayed in clinging white dresses for your delectation and delight. Which one would you upend give the chance?

Pippa Middleton shows her tits!

Could the rumours that Pippa Middleton is seriously considering the recent offer to star in a porn video be true? Five million dollars is a lot of money for anyone, so let's hope that she is tempted.

In the meantime we have a very nice tit shot to keep you amused, and if the waiting proves too much for you and your chopper, just remember to listen to your oldest and closest friend:

Your cock is telling you to click this link!

Order of the Burning Buttocks: A Brummie Painter

We don't know the name of the girl who decided to go all artistic on her boyfriend's car, but we sincerely hope that she is still eating her meals standing up and sleeping on her tummy. If ever an hysterical little madam needed taking in hand it is this one.What had the poor, long-suffering fellow done, anyway, other than presumably comment on Pippa Middleton's luscious bottom? 

The photo was grabbed in Birmingham on Wednesday and the hunt is now on for the car's owner and his hopefully tearful girlfriend.

In the meantime this blog awards an Order of the Burning Buttocks to the unknown artist:

Come here you hysterical little girl: you know that you deserve this!

Pippa Middleton to star in porn video

It's hard to believe that just two weeks ago we all tuned in to the royal wedding and got the Pippa Middleton porn video thrown in for free. Just to prove that we are not the only ones who admired Pippa's pornographic posterior, a major American porn company has offered her a massive $5,000,000 to appear in one of their productions - and she can have her pick of partners! What's the betting that she will choose Ron Jeremy, pictured above receiving a tribute from some of his fans?

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Pippa Middleton Again!

With thanks to Raven Red, photos are emerging which prove that this blog was right to award an Order of the Burning Buttocks to Pippa Middleton. Now we award it to her again on the basis of this frankly disgusting photo that has emerged showing her grinding her luscious rump into some fellow's groin. On that basis we award her yet another OBB for being the sauciest young minx that we have ever seen.

Come here young lady: you know that you deserve this!

A Video Tribute to Pippa's Posterior

I couldn't resist it - the video pretty much made itself. Which is a good thing because Raven Red was bending my ear during the whole time that I was editing the clip for your delectation and delight.

Is Pippa's Posterior a Fake?

Pippa's posterior owes more to her dressmaker than Mother Nature, it is being claimed after photos appeared of her rump which seem to show it flat and hardly worth a smack.

So what do you think, folks? The photo on the left seems to show a run of the mill rump that is hardly worth a second glance, especially when compared to the pornographic display that we can see above.

What could account for the differences to Pippa's posterior? 

The people demand answers!

Royal Wedding Blowjob Photo and More on Pippa's Posterior

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Royal Wedding Honours go to Pippa Middleton!

Great Royal Wedding day with the honours going to Pippa Middleton for her delicious posterior, wonderfully encased in a sheath dress that hugged her figure to perfection. Prince Harry seemed to think so as well if his crotch grabbing moment is to be believed. Let's face it, what man wouldn't want to get his tackle in order if he had Pippa's posterior within smacking range?