September's Munch

Yesterday being the last Wednesday of the month about twenty of us all turned up at the Central Station bar in King's Cross for what has now become a regular afternoon munch. As regular readers will know your friendly correspondent is not into playing, so was quite happy to sit on the terrace bar glugging alcohol and chatting to all and sundry on that gorgeous afternoon with temperatures in the 80s.

I have Skype installed on my mobile so I called Raven Red in South Africa and then handed the 'phone around so that all her friends could speak to her. That done I settled back to drink another beer...

That said, there was a rather nice looking charmer in a tea dress who was sat chatting to two men and when the three of them went downstairs to the cellar I gave them five minutes to get into the swing of things and then wandered down to see what she looked like bare buttocked and undergoing correction.

They had her bent over, black panties down to her knees, and hands fixed to a St. Andrew's Cross that is a wall fixture. The session left her bottom a fiery red and standing directly behind her I was treated to the delightful sight of moss that glistened with late afternoon dew. I smiled and made the obvious assumption that one or the other would mount her, but they seemed to be content with increasing the fire in her bottom rather than extinguishing the one that had been lit between her thighs. 

I worry about the young people of today, I really do.

Glancing to my left I saw a young Japanese girl on her knees unbuckling the belt of a man of a man in his very late 50s who was standing in front of her. Thinking that she had been instructed to provide him with a postprandial desert as it were I wandered over to cast an eye over her blowjob technique. Alas for you, gentle reader, but she was preparing him for a spanking. 

So it isn't just the younger generation who I need to worry about...

How not to pull pussy

I was on the tube yesterday travelling into central London. A young mother was stood next to me with her baby in her arms, so I suggested that she sat down on the free seat next to mine. She misheard me and thought I was asking to hold the baby, which is why I ended up having a ten month old delight plonked onto my knee. She touched my moustache and was fascinated by my glasses and I bounced the little bundle up and down and made her giggle. When I looked up every woman in the carriage was smiling sweetly at me.

I remembered that 16 years ago I had been on a bus in Mexico with my eldest who was then just two years old and a girl had watched me playing with him and had then held him in her arms. We started chatting and the next day I bedded her, and since then I used each baby son as he arrived as pussy fodder, so I decided to chance my arm with a likely looking miniskirt on the tube yesterday.

As I go up to leave I gave her my card along with my self deprecating smile. she smiled rather nicely and I figured that it was a racing cert for a jump, but alas instead of the nice vanilla card I gave her the kinky one with the BDSM triskale which made her eyes widen:

However they almost fell out of her head when she turned the card over and read my quote from John Wilkes on the back:

She hasn't called me yet...

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Female Exhibitionists

I have mixed feelings about female exhibitionists who enjoy flashing their wares to the delight of their male audience. Part of me enjoys a good perv, but I am fully aware that this is prick teasing of the highest order and such behaviour cannot be allowed to go unpunished. So to all female flashers out there:

Come here young lady: you know that you deserve this!

Telegraph Censors "Commando" Pippa!

 

I cannot believe this! The Daily Telegraph gave its perving punters a report on Pippa Middleton's alleged commando moment at the London Fashion Week and then they decide to pull the piece. The story was ridiculous, as I demonstrated when I found the photo and ran it here - that's it reposted on the left. As you can see, perky Pippy is wearing her nicks like a good girl should and I pointed that out in the comment section to the piece and then sat back whilst the hit counter went through the roof. For two hours the hits just flooded in and then the story was culled and my dreams of a record breaking day died. 

Not to worry, as just to show all my new readers what a nice fellow I am, giving up my weekend with no thought of reward and all that, at the top of the post is yet another shot of Pippa flashing her gash for your perving pleasure, and on the right and below we have a very nice shot of Kate giving us a leer at her backside, rather fetchingly clad in yellow knickers. Don't ask me who the bald cove is walking with her.

Was Pippa Pantyless at London Fashion Week?

Was luscious Pippa Middleton pantyless when she took her front row seat during London Fashion Week? This is the question that the Daily Telegraph is asking and kindly old Uncle Nick went off and tracked down the photo which is alleged to show commando Pippa in action.

Hmm, looks like she is wearing panties to me. Damned shame because the rumours surrounding her previous knickerless state were impossible to ignore, so we were hoping for something more than a flash of white cotton.

Better luck next time!

Decisions, Decisions...

Order of the Burning Buttocks: the Scarlettjohanssoning gang

It's called Scarlettjohanssoning, and it's the latest internet craze that deserves a mention. Girls are copying Scarlett Johansson's  game with the camera, mirror and a nicely rounded bare rump.

 What can we say about this craze? Come here you naughty little girls: you know that you deserve this!

A spanking for Marina is on the cards

Back in May I posted a  piece on my spanking philosophy which created quite a bit of discussion. I ended that posting by saying that when women act up "they get spanked. Or they fuck off. One of the two."

Marina was a girl who chose to fuck off after playing up with me in December of last year. As regular reader of this hear blog will know, she is not the easiest women to have around and she is quite capable of having her fair share of female moments, but last December's antics were unique even for her. To say that I was fuming is putting it mildly and Marina was told that off is where she could fuck in no uncertain terms.

Bless her, but I find it hard to stay angry at the Moose - as I call her - because I know that sooner or later she will want something from me and will open negotiations with a view to getting that which she desires. She started trying to worm her way back into my good books in early spring when she left a few agreeable comments on the blog, but she sloped off when I made it plain that I was in no mood to forgive without punishment.

The Moose got in touch a few days ago and has accepted that she was naughty and that she will be eating her meals standing up and sleeping on her tum for a week, come December when I am in Mexico City.

Feeling rather warm and cuddly I told this tale to Raven and then said that maybe I would let the Moose off and just take her for a drink instead. I am sad to have to relate, but Raven burst out laughing at my remark.

Don't you just hate it when women get like that?

Oh, well, at least this only leaves me with one naughty little girl outstanding.

TV Spankings: Rawhide 3

This is the third episode of Rawhide, the 1960s horse opera, that had a spanking scene in it. Barbara Eden is the girlfriend of the bad guy who is trying to persuade the drovers to go and work for him.  Eric Fleming has other ideas, and the rest you can watch for yourself!

Whack To The Future?

The press is having a field day with the news that roughly half of Britain's parents support the reintroduction of corporal punishment into the country's schools and about twenty percent of their offspring share that view. You may argue that it is unfair for kids to get for free that which their elders pay good money to receive, but that is not the point, is it?

The point is that the ideologically pure at heart over at the Guardian are collectively giving birth to kittens at this news, something which is made even more hilarious by the paper's own poll which shows a quarter of its own readers are in favour of the application of rattan to rumps.

Readers of this blog are cordially urged to get over to the Guardian and vote yes to corporal punishment even if they actually disprove of the notion. Annoying Guardian readers is just a good in itself.

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Scarlett Johansson

An Order of the Burning Buttocks has been awarded to Scarlett Johansson and through her to any brainless bimbo who owns a camera. Give a pretty girl a camera and stick her in front of a mirror and it is pretty clear that sooner or later she will snap nude photos of herself. It is also fairly obvious that these photos will then be lost and will find their way all over the web. The girl will then start to wail loudly at the unfairness of it all, or go to the FBI, which is what young Scarlett has done.

Come on, fellas, at least it gives us a chance to shake our heads in double wonder. First because the little darlings lose their photos and then for their reaction to their own bout of female stupidity.

Come here, young lady: you know that you deserve this!

Female Delights

Women, come on, fellas, let's be honest: we love 'em, don't we? We just find it hard to take them seriously, that's all...

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Catalina Robayo

Meet Catalina Robayo, otherwise known as Miss Colombia, and an entrant in the Miss Universe contest. Catalina managed to forget her panties for a photo shoot the other day with the result that shots of her shaven clam are now all over the web - including this here blog! Just click on the image and watch it grow. The image that is...

Now then, Catalina. If you think that dear old Uncle Nick believes for one moment that this is anything other than a publicity stunt then you are out of your mind. It is a stunt, and we both know that. What's that you are saying? Do you think that I care?

Come here, young lady: you know that you deserve this!

The delights of munching

Last Wednesday saw what is rapidly becoming a monthly munch at the Central Station bar in London's King's Cross. The idea is to have an open house event one afternoon a month where everyone and his brother can turn up and do their own thing. My thing involved sitting on the roof terrace slurping beer, but Raven found herself being taken down to the cellar area to have her bottom bared and spanked. She returned wriggling nicely and clearly angling for some sympathy from me, but alas sympathy had run out that day, so I left her to wriggle as I glugged another beer. 

If you are in central London on the 28th September then do please come along to the Central Station between 1.00 and 6.00pm. Dominic Hyde who normally runs these events sadly has to go into hospital, but he has left the show in my hands as well as that of another fellow. 

So don't be shy - make a note of the time, date and place and I look forward to meeting you at next month's munch!

Uncle Nick's Newest Video Will Star Raven Red!

I was sitting in front of the TV set late yesterday when Raven announced that she wanted to make a video. I raised my eyebrows, but she is serious so the first part of the shoot will take place this coming week. All being well the clips should be available by the end of the month.

Stay tuned for more details later on in the week!

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Laura Johnson

At the recommendation of a correspondent named Ben, an Order of the Burning Buttocks is awarded to nineteen year old Laura Johnson from Orpington in Kent. She is one of the people accused of theft during the recent riots, but since she has pleaded not guilty to the charge, obviously we cannot have her thrashed for that.

However, since she is is an undergraduate at the University of Exeter, a Sloane institution if ever there was one, the chance to have this pert young miss bent over for a taste of the birtch rod across her bared buttocks is just too good to miss:

Come here, young lady: you know that you deserve this!

The world of the dickless dwarf

Raven Red is out of sorts, and for the same reason as last year: namely being let down by a sad-arsed loser with a dick the size of my little finger.

What Raven enjoys is chatting to people on-line and occasionally making an arrangement to meet them for a session. The problem is that far too many people are wannabes who shit their loads when they realise that a real live woman has landed on their shores. Then the flurry of e-mails dries up and after about a week they start to write to her again with some horribly complicated excuse for their earlier silence. A meeting is arranged and some more mails are sent - and then a final mail is received giving out the puerile and pathetic excuses for the cancellation.

I remember a friend of mine in the trade saying to me many years ago that she could dress a sexy 18 year old up as a schoolgirl, put her across the average sad-arsed punter's knee, and the tosspots still wouldn't have the bottle to do anything. They live in their own little fantasy world, but sadly for Raven, occasionally they manage to fool her into thinking that they are men, instead of pathetic, inadequate losers.

TV Spankings: Rawhide 2

Quite why Eric Fleming is dressed in a Confederate officer's uniform is unclear, but this is the second of three spankings that featured in Rawhide, the 1960s horse-opera. The first we ran back in May and the final one will feature here next week. Say what you like about these old series, they could always be relied upon to have a feisty young heroine who just needed to be taken down a notch or two.

Raven Red's Diet Plans

As many of you already know, Raven is trying to lose weight. On Saturday she announced casually that if I allowed her to get away with diet-cheating then she would consider herself absolved from all and any responsibility for any weight that may be gained. It seems that it is all my fault for not supervising her eating and making sure that she keeps to her diet.

And women wonder why men don't take them seriously...

Daddy's Girl

I am sorry, daddy. I didn't mean it, honestly. Please, you can't do that to me. Daddy! I'm a big girl now!