Friday, 13 May 2011

Pippa Middleton to star in porn video


It's hard to believe that just two weeks ago we all tuned in to the royal wedding and got the Pippa Middleton porn video thrown in for free. Just to prove that we are not the only ones who admired Pippa's pornographic posterior, a major American porn company has offered her a massive $5,000,000 to appear in one of their productions - and she can have her pick of partners! What's the betting that she will choose Ron Jeremy, pictured above receiving a tribute from some of his fans?

Thursday, 12 May 2011

TV Spankings: Rawhide


A damned fine television spanking from this 1960 episode of Rawhide. In spite of being told that there are a couple of drunken Indians about, the girl wanders of the trail and is waylaid by them, so husband rescues her and then applies correction to the traditional seat of learning. By the way, the very young cowboy watching the proceedings is Clint Eastwood.

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Thought for the Day: Super Injunctions

If you are a footballer, B-list actor or crap comedian, there are two ways to avoid having to take out a super injunction at a cost of at least £50,000. The first is to keep your dick in your trousers and do not pay whores to stick dildos up your bum or have them smack your bottom, no matter how naughty you have been. The second is to adopt the fuck it principle which has stood me in good stead for years. Let people say what they want,  and let the papers print what they wish. If you do that then it will all blow over in a day or so.

However, if you are unable to keep your prick under control and are determined to waste your money on injunctions,  then you are truly fucked in this day and internet age. For the truth will out and the laughter will go on for weeks.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Stephanie, the Stripping Stewardess


I am pleased to award an Order of the Burning Buttocks to Stephanie, the stripping air hostess who set all our pulses racing back in 2008 when her two videos first emerged. I have joined them together so you can see Stephanie in action for yourself.

She worked for a French airline called AOM which went bust in 2001, so the videos were obviously made before then. In the first one the pilot takes his hands off his joystick to inspect her twin engines, and then in the second clip her cockpit is inspected to see if it is air worthy.


On Opening the Gates of Hell

I am very loyal to my friends. They can be on-line chums like K who write to me from time to time, or people that I am close to in real life like Raven or Svetlana. In fact, if you are a friend then I can usually forgive your little errors, especially if you not only apologise, but stand your ground afterwards. Doing a runner whilst screaming sorry over your shoulder is not a good idea as it leaves me thinking that you don't really mean it.

Let me give you an example of this attitude at work, and we shall use Svetlana to illustrate the theme. I thought about her the other day as it is now exactly a year since a rather foolish little slapper tried some prick teasing games with me. I remember that when I told the tale to Sveta she hooted with laughter as she was most impressed by the fact that a female had managed to put one over on yours truly. Trust me it takes a lot to impress Svetlana...

Sveta and I first met in about 1990 when she was one of the first of the Russian whores who now bless London with their presence. She didn't speak much English back in those days and I had the the job of driving her and some other Russian trollops around the capital from hotel to hotel. However, a lack of English was not the main reason why I acted as the tarts' driver, that had more to do with the fact that within weeks of arriving in England our Slavic friends had acquired a well-deserved reputation for chicanery, so the classier agencies hired drivers to keep an eye on them.

Bless her, but she was always trying to pull fast ones, and usually sought to involve me in the deal, but I never went along with her wheezes. I was getting paid cash in hand, and the agency manageress would tell one of the girls to give me a freebie at least once a week, so why should I make waves? The only thing that Svetlana could realistically offer me as an inducement was herself, so it amused me to ask the manageress to give me Sveta for my freebie.

Obviously she hated me for that, which was fine because I didn't like her all that much at the time, either. On the other hand you don't have to like a woman to fuck her so long as she has a nice juicy pussy. Come on, fellows, you know it's the truth.

Gradually Sveta stopped sniping at me and I stopped teasing her for having to give me for free that which she had tried to offer as a bribe and eventually we became friends. For years afterwards whenever I was in London we would meet up and I would buy her dinner in a nice restaurant, and she would then go to work on her back, or doggie-style, depending on my mood that night. However, what she never did was try to pull any more fast ones because she knew that it wouldn't work.

All this brings me in a roundabout sort of way to the events of last May and to a girl who did try it on and who got away with it for three or four days until she gave her game away with her fat, stupid mouth. You can read the whole sorry saga at this link, but for the purposes of this tale I just need to say that I told the story to Svetlana and her hoots of laughter were enough to waken the dead.
 
"So you give up time for girl who does not pay in proper manner," gloated Svetlana.

"Yes."

"You give girl taste of belt?"

"She lives miles away. Have you any idea how much it costs to fill up an XJS?"

"You have Jaguar car?"

"Er, yes."

"You want give me taste of belt?"

I couldn't stop laughing. Actually, the car belonged to a friend of mine, but I did have the use of it and didn't want to overtax poor Sveta's brain with extraneous information.

So there you are. Play straight with me, and I will be your pal and will play straight with you. Fuck with me and I will crucify you. That attitude extends to my pals who seek my help. So for instance, if Raven had been unhappy over the past two weeks because of what people had been saying about her and if that unhappiness had been exacerbated  by a blog posting then obviously I would be very annoyed on her behalf. That has not happened of course, so we are just talking hypothetically.

However, if it did happen, then I would open the gates of Hell.

Monday, 9 May 2011

Cinema Spankings: Sissi


Rather a nice spanking scene from a 1957 German film. As for me, I am having a lazy night!

Saturday, 7 May 2011

Kim's Caning


Kim has been a very naughty girl indeed, and her long-suffering uncle feels that the only answer is a traditional, bare-bottomed caning.Kim is unhappy at this and protests vigorously, before eventually bending over like a good little girl should to allow her defenceless buttocks to feel the kiss of the cane. 

Friday, 6 May 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Pippa Middleton Again!

With thanks to Raven Red, photos are emerging which prove that this blog was right to award an Order of the Burning Buttocks to Pippa Middleton. Now we award it to her again on the basis of this frankly disgusting photo that has emerged showing her grinding her luscious rump into some fellow's groin. On that basis we award her yet another OBB for being the sauciest young minx that we have ever seen.

Thursday, 5 May 2011

Policewoman Spanked in 1981

Does anybody else remember this quite fascinating case from 1981? It made all the papers at the time since it involved a policewoman named Susan Jarvis (19), who claimed that  Inspector David Henley (38) had bent her over and smacked her bare bottom. He was acquitted of the dastardly deed, and given that passage of time I was wondering if anyone had any more information on the case?

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Cinema Spankings: Una Bala Marcada


In this 1972 Spanish horse opera, Peter Lee Lawrence plays a gunslinger who has been hired to go up against a town's despotic ruler. Obviously he and Maria Pia Conte's character know each other, hence the animosity between them. I have edited the spanking clip down to remove a section where he and  Maria each tell the shopkeeper to serve the other first as it seemed tedious.

Eventually Peter asks for a box of .45 cartridges, whereupon Maria whispers something in the shopkeeper's ear. He then announces that he does not have that calibre in stock, so Peter walks behind the counter and grabs a box of .45 shells. He asks the girl if she would care to explain what is going on and she steps backwards telling him not to touch her. Peter replies that she is spoiled and not to be treated as a woman, but as a naughty little girl, and proceeds to spank her.

Just when the correction has become interesting, an old man walks in and tells Peter to stop, to which our hero replies that he is only teaching a chit to behave herself. The order is repeated and Maria is allowed to rise. She then tells her rescuer that the only reason why Peter is in the town is because he does not have the courage to go up against the bad guy himself.

The clip ends with Peter saying that he does not understand why the man intervened and the fellow replies, in effect, that it is not Peter's concern.

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

A Video Tribute to Pippa's Posterior


I couldn't resist it - the video pretty much made itself. Which is a good thing because Raven Red was bending my ear during the whole time that I was editing the clip for your delectation and delight.

Monday, 2 May 2011

Is Pippa's Posterior a Fake?


Pippa's posterior owes more to her dressmaker than Mother Nature, it is being claimed after photos appeared of her rump which seem to show it flat and hardly worth a smack.

So what do you think, folks? The photo on the left seems to show a run of the mill rump that is hardly worth a second glance, especially when compared to the pornographic display that we can see above.

What could account for the differences to Pippa's posterior? 

Sunday, 1 May 2011

Thrashing The Maid


What to do with an incompetent servant girl? This mistress has the answer - she orders the wretched girl to bend over for a dose of the tawse across her bare buttocks. Sit back and enjoy the sight of a cruel, leather-clad dominatrix putting her employee through her paces. 

Friday, 29 April 2011

Royal Wedding Honours go to Pippa Middleton!


Great Royal Wedding day with the honours going to Pippa Middleton for her delicious posterior, wonderfully encased in a sheath dress that hugged her figure to perfection. Prince Harry seemed to think so as well if his crotch grabbing moment is to be believed. Let's face it, what man wouldn't want to get his tackle in order if he had Pippa's posterior within smacking range? 

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Pippa Middleton

Today is the big day for royal wedding fans and it provides a perfect excuse to run one of the few upskirt shots of Pippa Middleton that are kicking around the web. Unlike Kate Middleton who seems to enjoy showing off her panties at every opportunity, little Pippa has so far managed to save her snatch from the public gaze.

That said, she is a perfect minx with a saucy cast to her elfin face that is just begging someone to tun her over and administer the spanking that everyone knows that she deserves.

Thursday, 28 April 2011

Anyone for a public spanking?


There's a lot to be said for public correction, I suppose it's all to do with the humiliation factor being at its highest.

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Sophie Raworth


The latest Order of the Burning Buttocks is awarded to Sophie Raworth, for having legs that go right up to her chin. Such a saucy young madam deserves to be upended as a matter of course as it is good for her soul as well as providing pleasure to her disciplinarian. As Aristotle noted in this comment box, she has been on TV interminably recently mouthing off about the royal wedding, and the thought of her nursing a well smacked bottom the next time she appears is a thought to savour.

The Wives of Spanking Husbands' Club


Raven Red turned up this quite fascinating account from the Los Angeles Times of the 26 January 1938 about the wonderfully named Wives of Spanking Husbands' Club, and its lovely offshoot, the Daughters of Spanking Parents. Raven thought that someone had created a fake newspaper and she asked me to have a look at her scan, which I did.

If you enlarge the main page on the left you immediately see the Library of Congress sticker which covers part of the newspaper title. It is possible that someone went to the trouble to fake such a small detail, but my guess is that this is a genuine scan of the Los Angeles Times for that date. Looking at the story, my eye was drawn to the fact that it was not written by the Times, but is an agency report - in this case the Associated Press, hence the AP initials after the headline and date. All the Times did was scan the agencies for a short story to fill some space on their page. The paper had form in the 1930s for its spanking stories as just a few months later it ran an account of how a father spanked his 34 year old daughter, so that is yet more evidence that the page has not been faked.

Does that mean that the story is true? No, of course not, and my guess is that someone was hoaxing the Press Association. The report tells of a woman named Rita Rae with an address noted as "general delivery." That means that you wrote to her care of the main post office in her town and she would pick up her mail at the office. Rita claimed to be the president of the Wives of Spanking Husbands' Club, but if that organisation really existed would she not have used a real address for it? We are talking about a group that claimed to have fifty-nine chapters across the country, when all is said and done.

Secondly, the AP account relies totally on that letter which seems to have arrived at their office one fine morning. As the story says, everything hinges on Rita's "own figures" as to the club's membership and the like. Clearly this is a quick story that was cobbled together from a letter which the AP office in South Dakota found interesting that day. They put it into a story which they sent out over the wires to the agency's subscribers and the Los Angeles Times ran with the tale - but that doesn't mean that  any of it is true.

Which is a pity because it is a lovely tale and the notion of  "Spare the hairbrush and spoil the wife" is one that most of my readers will agree with.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Kate Middleton

I award the Order of the Burning Buttocks to Kate Middleton, for her seeming inability to decant herself properly from a car without giving us an upskirt shot of moss and early morning dew. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against dewy moss, but you would have thought that given her expensive education someone would have taken the trouble to teach the girl how to sit properly without providing a peep show to nasty little pervs like, well, us.

That said, it is a good shot, isn't it? I even took the trouble to enlarge the target area for you so that you can see the pussy lips without having to squint. Just think: Prince Billy will be spreading those luscious lips on Friday. Let's hope that he gives her two: one for him and another for all of us at this blog.

Merry banter aside, Waitie Katie is a very naughty girl indeed for flaunting herself like that and we know what happens to naughty girls don't we?

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