Have you ever heard of Tulisa Contostavlos? You probably haven't, but I am awarded her an Order of the Burning Buttocks for the following reasons:
Firstly, having made a sex tape which was obviously leaked to boost whatever career this girl had, she then tried to stop the web from perving over her cock sucking capers. Yes, that was a success, wasn't it? So a good spanking is called for because of that act of basic stupidity.
Secondly, for not getting someone to review her dialogue in the exculpatory video she made, which is reproduced above. I mean, the comment about not sitting down with her mouth shut is so wonderfully off the wall as to be unbelievable. We know that you didn't do that, dear, because we have all seen you on your knees, mouth open to take a good sized cock in it. And don't get me started on the "intimate moments" comment which you repeated heaven knows how many times. Dear, we have all watched you in action and it was about as intimate a moment as any provided in a bus shelter when the discos kick out.
Finally, we were deprived of our pop shot! Sorry, Tulisa, but we wanted to see him shoot his wad all over your face or you taking his cock oil into your open mouth and then swallowing every drop like a good girl should. Depriving us of this is a no-no and deserves an extra heavy spanking for you.
Now then, we know that you are an X-Factor judge and that Simon Cowell is reported to have said that you can keep your job if you go down on your knees, but before that happens, come here young lady, you know that you deserve this!
What's that? You want to watch the blow job? OK, here you go:
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