A warm welcome to the good time girls

A couple of weeks ago I wrote that the prostitutes here in Mexico seem to be getting cheesed off at the competition from the amateur good time girls who now seem to abound all over the place. The economy has tanked in a major way, so Mexico's secretaries and the like are on the look out to supplement their diminishing incomes and a tourist seems like a good bet.

Britain used to have large numbers of those girls and they are making a comeback over there. Back in 1993 I ended up with a Polish girl in London named Sylvia who fitted the good time girl profile to perfection, and as the UK economy sage we can hope to see a lot more girls taking up the role.

Basically, a good-time girl is not a prostitute, and would resent being thought of as one. The Mexican version probably has a job such as shop assistant or hotel receptionist that brings her into contact with businessmen and tourists, and she may even speak a bit of basic English. Her wages will be low and in her mind you, the fat, balding plumber from Rochdale, are very exotic. Let's face it, you can afford the flight over here, so by her standards you are a good catch.

She will be your girlfriend during your time in Mexico City. You take her to dinner at a decent restaurant and maybe let her run wild one afternoon in a department store. If that is a bit rich for your budget, just tell her, because she is going to know all the little street markets where the bag that she has been dreaming about for ages is on sale. I think that honesty really is the best policy with one of these girls - if she thinks that you are a City of London banker, then she will want you to spend accordingly. By telling her the truth about yourself, you can stay within budget. Of course it also gives her the chance to politely decline your advances, but if that happens another good-time girl will be only too happy to take up where the first one left off, so don't worry. Staying on the theme of honesty, she is not going to care if you are married or not, but if you are, you should tell her. Otherwise she might start thinking about making a little love nest with you back in Rochdale...

How do you find these good-time girls? Well, the quick answer is that you don't: they will find you. By staying at a decent hotel along Reforma you will meet any number of chambermaids and receptionists. By taking a stroll any evening in the Zona Rosa it is virtually guaranteed that someone will stop you and ask directions. Yes, of course she knows where the street is, but it gives her a chance to pretend that she is not picking up some strange bloke on the street, which is what the whores do. However, a more usual place to meet a girl is in a bar, especially the nice ones that are in hotels or attached to a Sanborn's restaurant. Be warned that not every Sanborn's has a bar, but most do and they are safe, comfortable and reasonably priced.

The chances are that your girl will be sitting with a friend, but don't worry. They will either come over to you on some pretext or other, or you can give them a smile and get waved over to their table. At some point after having chatted to them for a while, especially if you are showing an equal interest in both, one of the girls will vanish to the ladies' room, and this means that they have decided who is going to get you. You can then make arrangements for later with the one who is left, and when the friend returns give her a fiver for her taxi fare home. Of course she will use the metro and pocket the cash, but you can afford it, so don't be cheap.

By the end of your stay she may have decided that she is madly in love with you - and she could very well be telling the truth. Remember that this is a country where wealth is largely inherited and hard work most definitely does not carry its own reward. Making a good marriage, as women once did in Britain, is a smart career move for a Mexican girl. For your part you get a hard working, traditional wife who will give you all the children you want. The fact that you will want at most two or three is a blessing to your new love: her mother will probably have given birth to at least double that number.

On the other hand, it is more than likely that you will want to say goodbye at the end of your stay. If you decide to do that, please don't let her build her hopes up that you may return and claim her. Mexico City's good-time girls are a sentimental bunch, but they are not totally stupid. If she understands the score she will have a little cry over you and the next night she will be sitting in a bar chatting to her friend and hoping that another tourist will look her way.

That is how it works in Mexico and pretty much the same thing applied in Britain, until post-war prosperity put an end to the practise. Now as the government cuts bite deep we can expect to see any number of young things seeking to supplement their income with a generous boyfriend.