Nigella Lawson: Naughty girl or battered wife?

I don't normally discuss matters like this, but the photos of Charles Saachi and his wife Nigella Lawson at a restaurant are attracting comments, so I thought that I would add my take to the mix.

Raven saw the photos before me and made the point that Nigella is adopting a classic submissive posture in most of the shots and it looks to me as if she is entering sub-space in some of them as well. Given the age difference between them, I reckon that this relationship is one of daddy-daughter and I am rather surprised that nobody else has pointed that out.

The good Raven then went on to say that she thought that Saachi was a prize chump for arguing with Nigella in public and should have damned well known that a public figure like her would attract the photographers whatever she does, so he should not have got involved in this public spat.

My view is that the devil is in the narrative that the press seems to want to create. They could have presented the photos as an example of "Naughty Nigella and a provocation too far," or something similar. When Anita Ekberg was spanked by her then husband in 1971, the noise was enough to awaken the dead and six Rome police arrived at the door to find out what the racket was all about. Once they knew that it was just a wife being spanked by her husband they left and the Times reported the story as "Shades of La Dolce Vita," an obvious play on the title of Ekberg's most famous film.

 So why is Charles Saachi being presented as a villain? Probably because he is a multi-millionaire and doing over an oligarch is seen by the middle class chatterers who write for the press these days as a good in itself.

That is a pity because there is a world of difference between a battered wife and one who behaves as Nigella seemed to be doing in those photos.

Anyone got any opinions?

Order of the Burning Buttocks: Miss Lindsay Mills

I take it that you have all been following the story of Edward Snowden, the National Security Council whistle-blower, who has now taken refuge in Hong Kong? The really sweet thing about all this isn't actually him, but his girlfriend, Lindsay Mills, because Lindsay likes to take pictures of herself. Without many clothes on...

I dunno about you lot, but I have always enjoyed the sight of a pretty girl who likes taking selfies without many clothes on of course. I think to myself as I study her from every angle that there is a girl who really is so very naughty that a damned fine spanking is exactly what she needs.

So I award an Order of the Burning Buttocks to the lovely Miss Lindsay Mills for being just such a tease.

Now come here, you naughty little girl: you know that you deserve this!

An Antique Cane

Do you like the cane? I bought it in an antique shop for £15.00 on Monday. The shop is in the small town of Moffat, a rather agreeable place just north of the Anglo-Scottish border. I stopped there to have a look around and then found the antique shop quite by chance. I went in to see if they had any ivory handled shaving brushes as I have been after one for some time, but alas they had not seen any for years. I was when I was walking around that I saw the glass case with this quite magnificent cane in it.

The case also contained some books, an army cap, and what seemed to be a swagger stick, as well as this amazing implement of corporal correction.

I asked the shopkeeper if he knew the provenance of what I called the long swagger stick, and he told me that the case contained the effects of a now deceased army veteran who had served overseas for many years. He had been in the Black Watch, but the man could not give me any more information. The old fellow had died some years earlier and the bulk of his possessions had already been sold off.

Given that a swagger stick was in the case it is highly likely that this man was a senior NCO and would probably have been responsible for disciplining the native servants, probably those belonging to a senior officer whose house the NCO ran. We will never know where he served, but it is unlikely to have been Africa as canes like this seem to belong more to South and East Asia then anywhere else.

As you can see from this photograph, the cane has been well used over the years. The end is splitting slightly and for some reason the knobbly end and the first four inches or so just below it were varnished at some point. That varnish has now almost entirely gone, which is further proof that this cane was in regular use.

We will never know why our soldier brought the cane over to Scotland when he completed his service abroad. He may had had a wife who needed to be kept in line, or he may have kept it on his wall as a memento of the glory years when orders were barked and rumps were roasted.